To love the unwanted
by InNerSyMphOnY
Summary: Their childhood was long over. Sasuke had left breaking Sakura's heart,now in college she is a shadow of the naive girl that she was back then. Untrusting and lonely it's Naruto she seeks comfort in.Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

The wind was hissing through the trees as it was only moonlight illuminating the paved path that they both stood on.

She was only seventeen, at the age where everything had a beginning. It was the start of limitless possibilities, of love and heartache. This night would probably forever be etched in her memories as she stared at the boy ahead of her with a tear stricken face.

"I-I've always watched you as you ran. It felt like you were always trying to escape your demons. I was fascinated watching your movements that were like a violent incoming storm. And you knew how I pined for you, how I looked at you, how I spent every waking hour racking my brains trying to come up with ways to make you notice me, make you smile at me. But you, you've never even given me a glance." She swallowed at the lump that was beginning to form at the back of her throat. "Was it because you wanted to hurt me as much as you were hurting?"

Her voice as soft as a whisper was quivering and her heart raced. But she knew everything had to be said or else they would always be left unsaid. All the things that she had to tell him, everything that she needed him to know would later threaten her sanity if she didn't. For the dark, handsome young man before her would be leaving tonight and perhaps she would never see him again.

He turned to her with the same cold eyes that she had come to know so well. He regarded her for a moment as her face was flooded with tears. He couldn't say that he wasn't moved, that he didn't yearn to reach out and offer her some comfort. But there were other things that he had committed his self to, things that couldn't be hindered by the foolish notion of love. As he had hardened his heart before to be numb to the feelings of loneliness that haunted him for as long as he could remember, he hardened it again to break hers. "Are you blaming me for always making a fool of your self with this infatuation you have over me?"

"Sasuke-kun…" Her voice was pleading but his words were more biting and harsh.

"Don't delude you're self, I've never once given you enough thought to want to hurt you for my sake."

She pressed her eyes closed hard trying to stop the tears, "You're wrong!" She cried out "If it was a delusion, it wouldn't hurt this much! I- I love you more than anything! There is nothing I wouldn't do for you!"

"Shut up!" he barked at her "What makes you think I care? There is nothing in this forsaken town, not you or anyone else that could make me stay!"

His words were like thorns to her; even in the end he didn't grant any compassion. "You're cruel Sasuke-kun!" she said as she fell to her knees "You'll regret this…you'll get tired of always being alone. I only hope that happens before you're done pushing everyone away!"

He had his back to her and was still as he thought over what she had said.

"This is what I chose for myself."

It was the last thing he uttered as he walked away from her. It had to be done he told himself. 'I'm sorry, Sakura' he apologized to her silently. He knew well from a young age that it was only heartache if anything that changed a person. He hoped the pain he had given her would change her feelings towards him. Sakura kept her eyes on the ground as she heard his footsteps getting farther and father away. 'Don't go! Don't leave me!' she begged silently. A few feet away cerulean blue eyes watched as she sobbed, hiding his presence behind the overgrown oak tree that was usually a rendezvous point. Yes, seventeen was a time of many beginnings, even of ends.

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**Hi, it's been a while since I posted at all. I was in the mood to experiment so I decided to write this even though I really should finish a paper that's due. It's usually when I have work due that I get inspired to write stories, and that's the story of my life. This will probably be my last (hopefully!) author's note, I'd like to keep my presence minimum to non-existent so as not to distract you from the reading. Here are a couple of points I'd like for you to consider.**

**Please give an insightful review, although I like to be flattered, you'd better serve me if you pointed out my flaws. (As a writer mind you, not my character!)**

**I'll start off with the T rating and move up if needed so bear with me on that. **

**I'd like to make Friday the official day of updating. Check in around then if you're interested in more.**

**Other than that happy reading my beloved readers! **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Sakura wiped the sweat off her rather long forehead as she walked to the restaurant where she was to meet up with her old friends. The summer heat of the day extended into the evening. Her second hand car was in the repair shop _again! _It was getting to be too much of a headache, but just a bit more she reminded herself and she would have enough to buy a new car. Now at the age of twenty three, she was a shadow of her former self at seventeen.

That night still played out in her head at times but memories become vaguer as time passes. Sasuke had left then to join the military. In his five years of absence she had never heard from him again. She only knew the general details of him that she gathered from meeting old friends. After his first two years of service the government had offered him a position at intelligence. Since then, much of his whereabouts were unknown as he had just about disappeared off the map. But this was good for him she thought, as it would allow him to find the man who tore his family and psyche apart.

Sakura had moved on with her life, something as painful as heartache wasn't enough to kill her. She had changed; the time that Sasuke had left was one of the most vulnerable points in her life as it was during the ugly divorce between her parents. They had both remarried, both happier than they had been in their previous marriage. And it killed her because she was the only one in between who couldn't walk away with a new happy life. After graduation she had left Konoha for Tokyo, having gotten accepted to Tokyo University. Leaving her hometown had been especially hard on her as it meant abandoning everything she had ever known. But she was grateful that much of her classmates had also moved to the city.

Yamanaka Ino, her rival since they were kids also attended Tokyo University. Only she was a literature major while Sakura was a medical student. Another person that had followed her along to the city was Naruto. He didn't get into Tokyo U but attended a community college and became a mechanic. He's the closest friend she has as they had become close through their track team back in high school. Most of the people on her team were living in Tokyo now. Ino, Naruto, Neji, Ten-ten, Kiba, Lee, Shikamaru their then lazy manager, the only one missing was Sasuke.

His name that constantly resounded in her head made her feel disgusted with herself. Why even after all this time did he still occupy her every other thought when she reminisced about the past. She shook herself from her thoughts as she entered into the restaurant. It was Naruto that waved to her to join their table when she scanned the dining room.

"You're always late!" Ino greeted her with the complaint, annoyed that they had to wait for everyone to show up before they could order.

"Gomen, my car is at the shop again." She apologized only to have Ino more annoyed at the lack of retaliation. Sakura had turned languid, no longer was she loud or perky.

"Ah, don't worry about that Sakura-chan. At least we can order now, boy I'm hungry!" Naruto said as he buried his head into the menu.

"It's my time to buy, so could you keep it modest Naruto?" Sakura asked as she saw him eye just about everything on the menu.

"If it helps any Sakura-san you don't have to pay for mine." Lee said as he reached for her hand. "You grow more beautiful every time I see you, which in itself is a treat." Lee's tendency to exaggerate things into long speeches had not yet left him. Sakura had grown her hair out which she once pulled the stunt of cutting very short as a way to grab Sasuke's attention back in the day. It now reached midway to her back in soft wavy curls. More studious and serious than her younger years, she attracted a lot of attention from the opposite sex and the occasional same sex.

Ino slapped Lee's hand away from Sakura's. "Oh no, you're not! You've never made such an offer when _I_ was the one buying. It's only fair that Sakura foots the whole bill!" Ino protested. "Besides since Kiba, Ten-Ten and Neji aren't here, it won't add up to much at all."

"I never said I wouldn't Ino!" Sakura exclaimed a bit irritated that they were fighting over the stupid bill.

"Good!" Ino said with a smile "Then we all agree!" Even after all these years thought Sakura to herself, Ino was still as overbearing. After they had all placed their orders, Ino clapped her hands together as a thought came to her. "Oh yeah, I heard that guy Yakushi Kabuto, had asked you out. I hope you said yes, you two seem like a good match; you're both strong in academics and medical students. I don't see any reason for you two not to go out."

"What?!" Naruto asked outraged "The four-eyes? How did you answer him Sakura-chan?"

Sakura snapped her head towards Ino and gave her a glare. How could she have forgotten that not only was Ino over-bearing but also a busy body? How this woman kept tabs on everything that happened to her was beyond her.

Naruto placed both of his palms faced down on the table and leaned towards Sakura. "Sakura-chan, you're not answering my question!"

Shikamaru who had sat quietly the whole time put his right palm on Naruto's forehead and pushed him back into his seat.

"Hey Naruto, keep your voice down, you're getting over excited! It's not like this is the first time someone has asked her out." He said as he tried to calm the blonde down.

"Yeah Naruto," Ino now chimed in "don't you think your crush on Sakura is getting a bit old. I mean for god's sake we're not kids anymore!" Shikamaru gave her a weary look. She always over did it! But Naruto ignored them as he kept his intense gaze on Sakura. Sakura could read the panic in his eyes. She knew that look far too well, it was the same way she used to look at Sasuke when some other girl would take an interest in him. It was no secret amongst them that Naruto pined after Sakura to this day.

She gave Naruto a soft smile "Come on Naruto, don't look so serious. Of course I turned him down." She instantly noticed the relief that flashed in his eyes.

"Eh?" Ino asked "Why'd you do that?"

"He wasn't my type Ino!" she answered softly. The servers had brought them their dinners and Sakura was glad for the momentary distraction. But Ino wasn't one to drop a topic.

"Haruno Sakura, I didn't think that you'd still be living in the past. Seeing you change so much over the last couple of years, I thought you had moved on but it seems…" Ino stopped midsentence as Shikamaru placed his hand over hers. A blush came over her cheeks at his touch.

"Leave it be, Ino!" he told her. She looked up to find that they were all watching her warily with the exception of Sakura who kept her eyes on her food. Silence filled the table with these old time friends. They knew that topic was a sensitive one for Sakura. When they met in smaller groups like this sometimes the conversations turned serious. She wasn't the only one subject to it, for so much had changed between them. Like losing their friend Chouji, who died in a car accident or how Temari and Shikamaru were once going out and even have a child together. Of course that was a painful time for Ino who obviously holds affection towards Shikamaru.

It was Naruto that tried to lighten the mood, "Hey Sakura-chan, can I try a bit of what you have?" he asked as he was leaning in again towards her.

"Yeah, help yourself." She said as she pushed her plate towards him. When the Champaign and drinks had come around that was when the mood had turned lively. Shikamaru and Lee were having a drinking match with Naruto egging on Lee and Ino rooting for Shikamaru. Sakura sat back and watched them with a smile. Sometimes she was grateful to hang around her old friends and to watch their antics but there were other times when she resented meeting with them as the past kept on being brought up. After taking a sip of her drink, she looked up to find Naruto watching her closely. When their eyes met he broke out in a reassuring grin that never failed to make her smile.

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It was about an hour later when Naruto dropped her off in front of her apartment building. She swung her right leg off of his bike and proceeded to take off her helmet. "Thanks, Naruto!" she said as she handed it to him. "I wouldn't have to bother you this much if my car wasn't messed up."

"I think it should be done by tomorrow, I'll drive it over for you." He said as he walked her to the door.

"And what about the repair costs? I can't let you cover it! You've already done that too many times." She said in protest.

He scratched the back of his head, a sheepish smile on his face "Don't worry about it, Sakura-chan! After all I was the one that did all of the work on it."

"Naruto…" she warned him

"Ah… tell you what, I'll charge you the next time you bring it over." He said as he placed one of his palms at the small of her back. A smile was playing itself on Sakura's lips. "What?" he asked wondering what she was thinking.

"Nothing…" she said as she dropped the subject. It was the same excuse he had given her countless times before. This was one of the reason she loved Naruto dearly as a friend. He had remained loyal to her for so many years and was always there for her. "Well," she said as she started fishing for her keys in her purse "have a good night."

He merely stood there, "You're not going to send me off without a hug are you?"

She let out a snort, "No, that wouldn't do would it?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Naruto breathed in her scent, indulging in her closeness. His heart had felt heavy when Ino had revealed the information on that creepy four eyes guy asking _his_ Sakura out. But he wondered how many countless other men would try to move in on her before she would accept him. "Naruto?" she called when he still hadn't released his hold on her.

He took in a deep breath and decided that enough was enough. He would have to ask her. "Sakura-chan, why did you _really_ say no to Yakushi Kabuto?" he asked into her hair as he kept her in his embrace. He felt her go stiff at his question and it affirmed his suspicions. Putting his hands on her arms, he slowly released her to look her in the eyes. Naruto now towered over her as opposed to when they were younger. He hit his growth spurt late into his seventeenth year. But despite all of these changes, he still read her like an open book. He knew the look he would find in her eyes, it would be of quiet torment. "You're still not over that idiot!" he whispered his fear

She gave him a pleading look that probably asked of comfort away from the presence of all their meddling friends. But he knew that he couldn't waste anymore time before it was another man who gave her an invitation. "Is…" he tried to find the right words "is that why you won't accept me? Because I remind you too much of what was back then. You don't want to turn to the man you rejected in your teenage years?"

She saw Naruto's face darken and was a bit frightened to see him changing into someone she couldn't recognize right in front of her eyes. "Naruto…" she uttered his name as she reached up a hand to caress his face. "Why are you asking this of me? You know that I cherish you too much as a friend to…"

He wouldn't let her finish that rehearsed line. She probably used it often to justify why they couldn't be. "No…why don't you say the truth?" he asked as he searched her eyes for a different answer than the one that was nakedly exposed in her pained expression. "I was never good enough!" He had known this all along although it had taken a while to admit to his self. He couldn't quiet the rage in him at that admission. He let out the breath that he had been holding and released her completely. "Never mind, I'll see you tomorrow when I bring the car over!" he said as he walked away from her.

The sudden thought that he was leaving her brought a sharp pain to her chest. 'Not him too!' the thought hammered away at her, the pounding of her heart was loud in her ears from it. She ran over to him as swiftly as her legs could take her, wrapped her hands around his abdomen and buried her face in his back. Naruto stilled at her collision into him and the abruptness of her actions.

"Please…" she begged in a small voice "don't you walk away from me too Naruto!" Naruto had to strain his ears to hear her well as her voice was mixed with tears. "You're all I have left!" she sobbed into his shirt.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Naruto watched her as she slept. Sakura's unconscious and relaxed face was now void of all signs of anguish. He slowly dragged his index finger down the slight curves of her nose to her rosy pink lips. He traced them with his thumb as he ached with the wanting to kiss her so badly. He had to admit that he was both pleased and concerned with the frantic words that had come out of her mouth.

_"You're all I have left!" she sobbed into his shirt._

_He had pried apart her fingers that were holding him at the waist like a death grip and turned to pull her into a comforting embrace. _

"_Not you too!" she kept on whispering and he felt the guilt rush in from upsetting her so. _

"_Shh!" he cooed into her ears "I'm not going anywhere silly!" As if calming a young child he swayed her back and forth. She was always vulnerable in his arms, so he chided his self in being so careless with his words and actions. He knew he had to be more careful with the limitless trust that she had bestowed upon him._

"_Come on, I'll tuck you into bed and stay until you fall asleep!" he said as he pulled her towards the entrance of her apartment building. _

_He picked up the keys that she dropped when she had made the run towards him. Opening her door he turned to find that she kept her gaze to the ground. Her silence was eerie to him, he still couldn't get used to how quiet she had become over the years. It made him feel inadequate, feel as if he wouldn't be enough to bring her the happiness that she deserved. Sitting at the top of her bed he waited for her to shower and brush her teeth. The bathroom door opened and what it revealed had his heart skip a beat and then pick up pace. There she stood wearing a short-sleeved plain white t-shirt dress, her wet locks of hair cascading down her face, and her eyes still a bit puffy from crying. He had never seen such a beautiful temptation. _

_She gave him a soft smile and climbed into bed only to rest her head on his lap. _

"_Stay the night!" she murmured into his stomach, her breath there sent a tingling down his spine. "I want to wake up and still find you here in the morning." _

_And he couldn't deny her. _

Hours later he had straightened her onto her pillow and lay down next to her. He couldn't help himself from stealing a kiss to her chin, so close to the place that was beckoning him. But he decided that it was better not to take advantage of her while she was off her guard. The touch of his lips had caused Sakura to stir and pull herself closer to him, burying her head deeper into his chest.

She was a bit too much off guard he thought to himself as he felt her bare legs brushing against his. It made him wonder if she had completely forgotten that night years ago as he felt her breathing rise and fall on his chest. The memory had brought color to his cheeks but she lay next to him unaware of his train of thought. How many nights had he retrieved from his memory the sight of her with the then shoulder length hair fanned out on his pillow as the look of both pleasure and pain simultaneously played out on her features? How could she leave herself so defenseless to him when they had already made love to each other once?

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_It was December then, about four years back. The month long winter break of Sakura's first semester at Tokyo University had just started. Because of the extended break the campus would be completely shut down and all of the students that dormed were required to leave for the time being. _

_Sakura waited for the phone to be picked up, but after numerous tries and almost at the end of her loose change, she had decided to give up and placed the receiver of the payphone down._

_"No luck?" Naruto asked as he was seeing her off at the train station. Sakura was headed back to Konoha to stay with her mother for the duration of her break. Since Naruto had his own place in Tokyo and no one to return to back in their hometown he would stay put and pick up extra hours at work. But he couldn't resist bidding her goodbye knowing that he wouldn't be able to catch a glimpse of her face for another few weeks. _

_"No." she answered him dejectedly "Maybe she went out for a while or something." She added so as not to get him concerned. But the truth was that she had been trying to get in touch with her mother for a couple of days with no results. Regardless she had to head home for a roof over her head. _

_Hearing the whistle of the train, she knew it was time for her to board although she had a bad feeling in her gut. She looked out the window of her seat to find Naruto waving enthusiastically at her and it loosened the knots in her stomach momentarily as he brought a smile to her lips with his childlike antics. _

_But as she stepped out of the platform to the soil of her childhood, the feeling of anxiety rushed back to her and she found herself hoping that nothing was wrong with her mother. Realizing that she had only dialed her mother's cell phone, she decided to call the home phone. But all she heard was the voice recording that said that the number she dialed was unavailable. She quickly called a taxi wanting to rush home and to make sure that nothing was wrong since she hadn't kept in touch. Sitting in the taxi as the familiar scenery passed her by, a wave of nostalgia hit her. She took a long stare at the house where she had grown up in as the taxi pulled away. Hoping that her mother would allow some happiness to show on her face at the return of her daughter, she rang the doorbell. _

_She didn't have to wait long as the door opened a crack and a small boy peeked up at her. They both stared at each other curiously until the boy asked "Dare desuka?"_

_Who was__** she**__? 'I could ask you the same brat!' She thought as a frown pulled at her mouth but she fought to keep herself composed, she couldn't throw her infamous temper at a mere child. You could only imagine her surprise though at the look of intrusion on the boy's face in her own home. _

_"Who is it Yuuta?" called a woman's voice from within that she didn't recognize to be her mother's and her heart skipped a beat wondering what was going on._

_"I don't know mama!" Yuuta yelled back _

_"Didn't I tell you not to open the door to strangers!" came the grumpy reply as his mother came to see who was at the door. It was the same look of surprise and curiosity that Sakura had found in the boy now in his mother's features. "Ano…how can I help you?" _

_A feeling of panic had entered her chest. So she asked the question that was burning in her mind. "This might sound a bit strange, but how long has it been since your family has moved here?"_

_"A couple of months, why?" the woman now eyed her suspiciously. _

_"Ah!" she said pretending to take the answer calmly. "I'm sorry to bother you then, a relative of mine used to live here." She lied too ashamed to say that this used to be her home. _

_"Oh, she must have not told you!" the woman said now piecing everything together. "Although that woman did seem in a bit of a hurry to sell this house, she had even given us such a lower price tag. You know, you must be about the third person that has come in search of her. How could she just move away like that without informing her family at all?" She was saying more to herself than to Sakura. Sakura was barely listening as she felt the news crashing in on her like two hundred pounds of weight. She tried to conceal her shock as the new owner of the house kindly offered her to come in for some tea. _

_She shook her head and declined. "Thank you, but I must be going on my way!" she said as she gave a formal bow to the stranger. She kicked the dirt as she dragged her luggage behind her. Turning to take one more look at the home she had known her whole life, she imagined the new family that now occupied the house. The walls would now reverberate with their laughter and memories while it slowly erased all traces of its previous owners. She fought to keep the tears from falling at the thought. _

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_Naruto had just felt sleep claiming him when the sounds of rapping on his door had started. He sat up to see the digital alarm clock that stood on his bedside table lighting the numbers 1:15. 'Who could it be this early in the morning?' He thought to himself as he kicked the covers off in anger. He swung the door open to give whoever was behind it a piece of his mind. His jaw hung open in stun as he found his beloved Sakura-chan standing before him, a look of relief flashing in her eyes. He blinked twice but she was still there. Was he dreaming? He could have sworn that he had seen her off at the train station almost eight hours earlier. _

_"Sakura-chan, what are doing here?" he voiced_

_She tried desperately to grant him a smile but it was in vain. "I had nowhere else to go." She gave him a pleading look at the reluctant admission._

_He had her sitting in his tiny living room as he brought her a glass of water. "Arigatou!" she said as she guzzled it down all at once. _

_He watched her warily and was still baffled as to why she was here but the realization that he had answered the door only in his draws had him scrambling to find a pair of sweats. Before he could ask her anything she was already talking, guessing at his thoughts about her abrupt intruding. _

"_I knew there was something wrong when I couldn't get a hold of her for sometime but I didn't expect this at all!" Naruto focused all his attention on her as she affirmed the worries he kept himself from voicing when he went to see her off but didn't interrupt her with questions of why she hadn't said anything._

"_She sold the house Naruto! Can you imagine the shame I felt as I tried to explain to the new owners why I was at their doorstep?" She asked him with tears brimming in her eyes. _

"_You're mom didn't tell you anything while you were here?" he asked not believing his ears._

"_I was avoiding her; we haven't talked at all since I came to Tokyo!" She admitted seemingly regretful of her decision. "I asked around with the neighbors but they were as shocked as I was that I didn't know. I can't even think of any place she may have gone to." She said as she covered her face with both of her hands._

"_Its only a two hour train ride from here to Konoha, where were you this whole time and why didn't you call me to come pick you up?" he asked livid that she didn't rely on him as he wanted her to. _

"_Gomen, Naruto!" She offered weakly "I didn't want to worry you! And I wasn't really sure where I should turn to."_

"_What about your dad, doesn't he live here in the city?" he asked wondering why she hadn't thought of that. Surely Haruno-san wouldn't turn his own daughter away. _

"_I…I wouldn't dare show up there, his wife doesn't particularly like me." She whispered dismally. He noticed the way she hugged her knees to her chest and put his arms around her in consolation. _

"_You're always welcome in my home, Sakura-chan!" he assured her._

_He offered her his bed and said that he would be taking the couch. When she disappeared into his bedroom, he started to clear his couch. As he entered his bedroom to retrieve a pillow and blanket, he found her fast asleep curled up on his mattress and still in her street clothes. 'She must be exhausted!' he thought as he pulled up the blankets to keep her warm and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. _

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_Naruto felt guilty that he spent the whole of the next day at work and had left Sakura all alone in that miniscule apartment of his. It was around eleven p.m. by the time he reached home to find her sitting at his doorstep. "Sakura-chan?" he called. She looked up at him with her tear stricken face. She had left to go out but locked the door thinking she probably wouldn't need to come back but it hadn't turned out that way. _

_He rushed her inside and covered her with blankets. The temperature had dropped to about ten degrees Fahrenheit as soon as the sun had set. He wondered how many hours it was that she sat outside! He chided her for being careless as he kept rubbing his hands over her to get her warmer more quickly. She was ice cold when he carried her in. _

_She didn't say a word as he continued his ministrations. Her pride was broken to be such a burden on him. It was that same thought that had her leave to look her father up. He had seemed so shocked when she showed up at his office that he cleared his schedule for the rest of the day and had treated her to lunch. They talked about the past eight months that they hadn't seen each other. She apologized to him about not attending his wedding, saying that it made her feel like she was betraying her mother. He said that he didn't mind and understood. Said that all of this had to be hard on her. She felt a sudden calmness in his presence; it was always easier to talk to him than it was to talk to her mother. _

"_You're mother did what?!" he asked enraged when she told him about what happened the day before. He was instantly on the phone calling up relatives and family friends. They were back in his office and Sakura sat quietly as she waited for him to finish his conversation. After he had gotten off of the phone he turned to Sakura with a sigh. "It seems my child that you're mother has found herself another man, so she sold everything and eloped with him!" he said as the disgust was barely concealed in his tone. "But more importantly, where are you staying as of the moment?"_

"_I'm staying with a friend Dad." She said pleased that at least one of her parents worried about her well-being. _

"_Ah, thank goodness that my little girl isn't sleeping on the streets and to think that I had paid such a huge lump sum in alimony so that you would be well taken care of!" Sakura looked at her father in utter shock, unable to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Did he mean to say that he had bought out his fatherly duties to take care of her with some petty alimony money that he fought a despicable battle with his ex-wife over? She knew the real reason why he had agreed to her mother's terms; he wanted to finalize the divorce so he could marry his girlfriend Keiko. He had turned very successful in the last few years of his marriage to her mother after he had taken over the family business at the death of his father. It was around that time he had met Keiko. _

"_Dad, can I stay with you for the break?" she asked hoping that her suspicions weren't true. _

"_Ah Sakura," she could clearly see the hesitation in his eyes "You, know that I have no problem with that but Keiko would probably disagree. Besides you are an adult now, you wouldn't want to live with your old man still right? Don't people your age want the independence of living alone?" he asked in an attempt to persuade her other wise. "I'll tell you what, since I haven't given you anything as a graduation gift, I'll buy you an apartment near your university!" _

"_Dad…" she chocked out. He was at it again, buying his way out of her life. She couldn't take another minute of this. "I should go!" she said as she grabbed her purse. _

"_Ah well, come by more often!" he called out as his daughter walked out of his office. She angrily marched down the streets, pulling her coat tightly to shield herself from the biting cold wind. It wasn't until she reached Naruto's apartment door that she allowed herself to breakdown into tears. She still remembered her mother's stinging words when nothing had come in from her father even though she had graduated second in her class. _

"_Humph!" her mother snorted "All that money and he still can't give his daughter a graduation gift! Now do you know just how low of a person he really is? That man never knew how to fulfill his responsibilities! And it's all because of __**you **__that I had to waste the best years of my life living with that vulgar man! What do I have to show for that sacrifice Sakura? Every one knows about the affair, I can't show my face anywhere from that embarrassment!" _

_The tears wouldn't stop as each horrible memory played out in her head. And that was how Naruto had found her some hours later, her whole body freezing almost to the point of being numb that she could barely stand._

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"_Naruto?" she finally asked. He was only relieved to hear her voice._

"_What is it, you punk? You really gave me a scare back there! What if you got hypothermia or something?" He asked his voice both interlaced with affection and concern. _

"_Do… do you think I'm repulsive?" Naruto stilled as she asked him this. What happened to turn her into this self-loathing state?_

"_Just what are you talking about? Hey, look at me!" He said as he cupped her face. "What happened?"_

"_My father didn't want anything to do with me either!" she said "He would rather buy me an apartment than let me stay a couple of weeks with him and his wife!"_

_He put her head in his chest and said "He's a jerk, don't you dare take his words to heart!"_

"_Am I that annoying to have around? Am I that hard to love?" Her voice was still thin and hoarse "If I'm not repulsive, then why does everyone I love throw me away?" She cried into his shirt. "First it's Sasuke-kun that broke my heart even though I was ready to give him everything, even though I loved him and would have done anything to make him happy. And now even the parents that bore me into this world don't have space for me in their lives. It couldn't be just all them; it had to be my fault somehow!"_

"_Listen to me!" he said as he lightly shook her "You're in no way repulsive!"_

_Holding her tightly to him, his voice was shy as he said "You…you're beautiful! You're perfect, at least for me!"_

_She was still shaking in his arms and he pressed a kiss to her head as a melancholy smile played on his lips. "You know Sakura-chan, you were always book smart but you still miss the obvious things that stare you right in the face!"_

_His voice dropped to a whisper. "Why am I invisible to you?"_

"_Naruto?" she asked as it was him that was trembling now and tightening his hold on her._

"_I'm right in front of you, yet why can't you tell that I love you? All that time you were chasing and hurting after Sasuke, did you know how helpless I was watching you? That even right now I'm in pain to see you this way?"_

_She could feel his heart beat as a silence came over the two of them at his admission. She was in between the feelings of flattery and confusion at his words. Why hadn't she noticed his feelings? Why was she so blind towards him? She had been so wrapped up in Sasuke that she probably ignored him in the same way Sasuke had done to her. She came to him knowing that he would probably be the only one in the whole world who would never turn her away. But here she was ignorant to the grief that she had caused him._

"_You don't have to feel anything towards me, Sakura-chan." he said breaking the silence as he trailed his fingers down her cheeks "But, I can't stand to see you this miserable!"_

_She saw through her teary eyes the pain that he was trying hard to mask. This wasn't the Naruto that she knew. Her Naruto was someone that never let anything faze him, his enormous vivacity and passion for living was what endeared him to her. That look of pain did not belong even a hundred feet near him let alone on his face. Wanting badly to comfort him, she reached forward and planted a kiss on his lips._

_He couldn't be more surprised that it was his Sakura-chan that was pressing her soft lips to his. How long had he waited for this moment? How could anyone blame him when he drowned himself deeper into the sweet kiss? She reluctantly pulled back and wondered how it could be so pleasurable to kiss her best friend. She stared at the desperate longing in his eyes and couldn't stop herself from leaning in for another kiss. As the pleasure of their tongues being intertwined was subsiding her hurt and confusion, she felt herself wanting more of him. And as their kiss became more heated, gathering all of his will power he pulled back from her._

"_We shouldn't" he said panting_

_It took her a moment in between the haze of her desire. "Why not?" she asked feeling rejected. _

_He saw the flash of disappointment in her eyes but knew that he had to do this for her. "Because I love you Sakura-chan and I know better than to take advantage of you in this vulnerable state! And besides you still have feelings for Sasuke!" _

_Sakura put a finger to his lips, "Don't bring up Sasuke, I don't want to think about him right now. I don't want to think about anything right now! I only want to…" She trailed off as she put both of her hands to the sides of his head and pulled him closer to meet with her lips. _

_Naruto grabbed both of her wrists and momentarily stopped her. "But Sakura-chan!" he said at the edge of his self control._

_It only served to make her impatient "If you love me Naruto, make love to me!" His eyes widened at her words. "Make love to me right now and make me forget!" wrapping her arms around his neck she whispered in his ears "Make me forget it all!" _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

_He couldn't believe that this was real as Sakura pressed soft kisses to his neck. Sensing his unresponsiveness she looked up to see Naruto watching her intensely. _

_"What's wrong?" she asked cautiously "Am I not attractive?"_

_He vigorously shook his head and she smiled at the small act of nervousness. He reached for her face with both of his hands and kissed the long forehead that he had always found to be charming. He kissed the lids of her eyes and said "You're beautiful!" Noticing the blush that spread across her face he couldn't be more pleased. But hadn't he already told her that he thought to himself as he made his trail down her face. A smile was playing itself on his lips as a thought came to him. 'Sakura-chan likes compliments, likes to know that she is wanted' He found himself wanting to make this special for her in the way that she deserved, wanting to worship every inch of her. "You were always my angel Sakura-chan!" he said as he traced his fingers down her sides and was slowly pulling her tank top up. Feeling glad that she was already in only her undergarments in the process of warming her up with blankets, he thumbed the bare skin that was revealed as he pulled the clothing up further. _

_Sakura felt her heart race at his words, she never knew that Naruto could be this gentle or sweet. She suddenly felt unworthy of the love that he was giving to her so freely. But her mind was becoming void of all thoughts as he had now started kneading her breasts. There was this vague worry that was poking at her mind but she couldn't make it out. Everything felt like a haze except for the touches that she was receiving from Naruto, and the color of his cobalt blue eyes. The bliss of his skin on hers, how he kept on calling out her name, it was all pushing her off of the edge. When they were both spent from their passions, he pulled her back to his chest and whispered "I love you Sakura-chan!"_

_It wasn't until then that the realization had hit her of what she had done. This wasn't just a spur of the moment for Naruto; it was as real and tangible to him as having her lying next to him. But even as she tried to think that thought through sleep had quickly claimed her. _

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_**She was back in her hometown, the moonlight was right above her and a rush of wind had passed through her. She could barely make out the blurred vision of a figure running towards her. It was Sasuke, she noticed as he was nearing closer and closer. Her heart was leaping in her chest as a tear strayed down her cheeks. 'It couldn't be!' she thought as he wore the biggest smile on his face. She had never seen such happiness in his features. "Sakura!" he said as took her into his arms uncharacteristically. "I've come back; I promise I'll never leave you again! Could you ever forgive me?" **_

_**She didn't understand this at all. But his arms around her and the feel of his heartbeat against her had brought back the love that she thought she had buried deep within her heart. She gripped the shirt on his back with one hand as she cried into his shoulders. Wanting to see that bright smile again she lifted her head that was now beginning to feel heavy. But as she looked up she had seen Naruto looking back at her, standing behind that giant oak tree where all of her teammates sought shade under after track practices. The look of betrayal in his eyes was unmistakable to her. He granted her one last look as he made a run for it. "Wait, Naruto!" she called after him as she stepped out of Sasuke's embrace. But he was too far gone to hear her so she turned back to look at Sasuke. As if he had vanished into thin air, there was no one there except for her. She stood all alone wondering what had happened. Had they both left her? The feeling of dread was suddenly consuming her whole being. **_

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_She quickly sat up in bed and took in her surroundings. The sound of heavy breathing was the only noise in the room as she turned to find Naruto still asleep next to her. Relief flooded her as she reached out to stroke his blonde hair. His sleeping figure was innocent and childlike. She never wanted to hurt him, but she already had as she had taken comfort in his embrace without reciprocating any of his feelings. _

_She buried her face in her hands. That dream had felt so real to her even though she knew Sasuke would never approach her in that manner. Even though she knew he wouldn't be coming back. But here she was dreaming of him still coming back to her the morning after she had made love to Naruto. Even if there was the slightest chance that Sasuke did come back, she couldn't deny that she wouldn't run to him. But wouldn't that be at the cost of throwing Naruto aside? The question burned in her head. _

_She had betrayed them both she thought as she started to weep for the things lost. The loss of her first love was a heavier reality that was now sinking in after the loss of her chastity. It truly was over, she thought to herself. She could never go back to the daydreams of spending her first night with Sasuke, of saving every bit of her self for him. And to add to that she had tainted the purity of Naruto's love for her as she used him to numb all of her pain. That shame itself was ripping at her conscience. _

_Naruto woke up to the sound of her sobbing. "Sakura-chan?" he asked alarmed. "What is it? Was I too rough? If I was I didn't mean to hurt you!"_

_His words only had her weeping harder. It was her that had hurt him and used his affections but here he was alarmed that he might have harmed her. "Please don't cry, Sakura-chan! I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again I promise!"_

"_Naruto it's me! I should…" She hiccupped "I should be the one to say sorry!" _

_His barely awake brain could only take so much. Why should she apologize? He wondered thoroughly confused. Was it because she had dug her nails into the skin on his back and upper arms? It had actually been a turn on for him he thought as color flooded his cheeks. But he had always known her to be feisty so he didn't think it was that. "I don't understand, Sakura-chan?" _

_In a barely audible voice he had heard her pleadingly say "Gomen na Naruto! Yurushite!"_

_Forgive her? He thought as he took in the sight of her with her head buried in her knees and all curled up that he finally pieced everything together. She probably was crying like this for the better part of twenty minutes. Did she regret it this much? The thought had brought him despair. He knew he should have stopped, he should have asked again if it was what she really wanted. But he was too caught up at the softness of her body pressed against his. He tried to put on a smile for her but was failing miserably. "You don't have to look so sad Sakura-chan. It's not like I expect you to make me your boyfriend or anything! You know that I'd give you anything if you asked of me."_

"_Don't Naruto!" her voice now loud and hoarse. "If you say things like that, it only makes me feel worse! Do you know what I'm going through to know how much I've probably been hurting you?"_

_She could barely look at him, was she this ashamed of their joining? He could feel the anger building in him. "No!" he said as threw the covers off and jumped out of the bed to find something to put on. "What's really hurting me is that you're too ashamed to even look at me. It wouldn't feel this bad if you weren't bawling your eyes out! I could take you saying that you don't want to continue with me, I'm not that weak! I've never asked you to protect me that way Sakura-chan!" he said as he threw on a plain white t-shirt, some sweat pants, picked up his jacket that was on top of his living room couch and marched out of his apartment slamming the door hard behind him. _

_The silence was vibrating through the now empty apartment as Sakura sat still. She finally looked up to find him gone just like she had seen him do so in the dream. The heartache was too much for her to bear. Would Naruto also give up on her? She got herself up from the bed and started to get dressed clumsily. She threw her jeans across the room after her third try to wear it properly and slammed her fists into the floor. _

"_Damn it!" she cursed "Damn it all!"_

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_Naruto was also cursing himself as in his hurry he had forgotten to put on some shoes. He tiptoed through the ice cold floor of the hallway of his apartment building. He really was the idiot that people accused him to be. He climbed two flights of staircases and banged on Kiba's door, who also resided within the apartment complex. Getting no answer he banged harder. "Damn it Kiba! Open the door will you?" he now yelled._

_He didn't have to wait long as the door swung open and a gruffly Kiba reached forward to grab at the collar of his shirt "Naruto no yatsu! What the hell do you think you're doing this early in the morning banging like a madman at my door? It's barely seven in the morning you asshole!" _

_Naruto scratched the back of his head "Gomen, but my feet were freezing!"_

_Kiba looked from his face down to his feet that were bare and looked back up at him like he had grown another head. "I'm not even going to ask about that one, but what the hell do you want from me?" _

"_Let me crash at you're place?" he asked with a sheepish smile _

_Naruto couldn't get anymore stranger to Kiba than at the present moment. "Baka-yarou! You live two floors under me! What the hell do you want to stay at my place for?" _

_Naruto extracted himself from Kiba and pushed past him inside. Kiba let out a growl as he followed behind Naruto and slammed his door closed. He would probably later get a scolding from the landlady about all the commotion this early in the morning. "What? Did you see a ghost at your place or something?" He asked the blonde who now flopped down to his couch and was already flipping through his T.V. _

"_Just do me a favor this once!" Naruto said not removing his eyes from the television screen. _

_Kiba frowned at the sight of Naruto acting like he owned the place but decided to go back to bed. "Fine, but you owe me one you bastard!" He said as he walked back into his bedroom muttering something about how a certain idiot had interrupted his erotic dream with Hinata. 'Please be gentle with me Kiba-kun' she was saying for god's sake before the banging started he thought thoroughly frustrated. He climbed back into bed hoping with all his might to recreate the situation again in his head some how. _

_Naruto waited until he couldn't hear anymore movement from Kiba before he shut off the T.V. and dropped the remote into the couch which bounced slightly from the springs under the cushions. Leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling he let out a chuckle in self-loathing. Kiba was right, he was a bastard! Or at least conceived as one. He had been born into this world unwanted and had been rejected all his life. So this shouldn't hurt he thought as he closed his eyes. He knew that Sakura didn't want him in the way that he wanted her so why did he let him self indulge into the hope that she might have. When he had pulled her to him and whispered that he loved her, he had been planning to wake up later in the morning and shower her with kisses again. He was planning of ways to sneak into her heart and create a home for himself there but she wouldn't even look at him for god's sake! No, he tried to convince himself once more that it didn't hurt as he was clenching his hands tighter into a fist but could barely stop the tears that were flowing freely from his eyes. _

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_It had only been one night since Naruto had showed up at his door steps but Kiba was already annoyed at his long time friend who was thoroughly invading his space. The baka was helping himself to __**his**__ food, __**his**__ clothes, and even __**his**__ shoes. The bastard even had the nerve to complain that his sneakers smelled like they were rotting. So what if they stunk, it wasn't like he asked the freeloader to wear them. But enough was enough he thought as he saw Naruto prancing around __**his**__ kitchen with nothing but __**his**__ towel wrapped around the waste after a shower. "Oy Naruto!" he said as the blonde was about to take a sip of water. "Don't you think you've over stayed your welcome? I mean, how long could even a ghost stand to stay in that pigsty of yours?"_

_Naruto glared at him "Teme, you're one to talk! All of your waste baskets are overflowing. At least take out the trash you dumbass!"_

_Kiba could feel a vain of his about to pop from the insult. "If you don't like it, then get the hell out!"_

_But Naruto had his back to him as he leaned over the sink, and started to do the dishes as a way of repenting. Kiba shook his head at the odd behavior. The idiot was confusing the shit out of him, why was he really here? "Hey! Are you listening to me? I said get the hell out if you don't like it, not do my dishes!"_

_Naruto shut off the kitchen faucet and sighed. "I can't!" he finally admitted "I don't know where else to go!"_

_"You mean you don't know who else to mooch off of. What's going on? Didn't you pay the rent?" Kiba asked a bit concerned that he would have to house the guy a bit longer. _

_"I did!" came the reply_

_"Then!" he asked still not getting the situation "What are you over here for?"_

_"Sakura-chan is staying there." He said as he dried the dishes. _

_"Oh! Sakura is staying there!" he said as he turned back to his text book for his composition class. Now that made perfect sense! Wait a minute… "And why is she at your place?" _

_"It's a long story!" Naruto answered as he let out another sigh. Kiba regarded him suspiciously; wasn't that the second time he heard him sigh. What the hell was he all moping around for? _

_"Yeah, I bet it is! I bet you're hiding from her cause your afraid you'll jump her bones!" he said as he flipped the page. But as he heard no reply of defense a realization hit him square in the face. "Don't tell me you already did?" He asked looking up to see Naruto's back stiffen and affirmed his suspicion. _

_"No way!" he said as he stood up from his place at his kitchen table where he had been doing his homework and walked over to where Naruto was standing to get a look at him. "Are you serious?" He asked as he saw the grim look that he seldom found on Naruto's features. "But isn't she still not over that bastard Sasuke? What made her get into bed with the likes of you?" he asked a little too excited with this turn of event._

_Naruto was gripping one of his water glass with a death grip and slammed it into the counter, instantly shattering it to pieces. He looked at Kiba with blood shot eyes as he said through gritted teeth "Don't you ever make Sakura-chan sound cheap like that, you asshole!" Kiba looked from him to his hand that was bleeding from the shattered glass in utter shock. _

_"Hey man! I was only making a joke!" he said as he held up his hands in defense. He rushed to get his first aid kit deciding that a pissed off Naruto was definitely not good for his health. "Here, let me see that hand." He said as he got out some antiseptic. _

_"It's nothing!" Naruto protested as he moved his hands out of Kiba's reach._

_"You've still got splinters of glass in your hand you dumbass, that shit could get infected!" He yelled and Naruto relented having already experienced an infection from a deep cut before. As Kiba got the bleeding to stop he proceeded to wrap the hand with bandages and tried to talk Naruto into going back again. "Look, I don't know what happened between you two, but you can't avoid her forever!" Nor can you stay in my place! He added mentally but decided against voicing. _

_"Yeah, I know that!" Naruto answered weakly. _

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_Sakura sat on Naruto's couch staring at the door. Naruto didn't come back last night, where could he have gone to? She wondered in despair. She was keeping him out of his own home; she thought completely hating herself for it. She had never felt so much self loathing all at once as she did at the moment. She looked around at his humble abode, knowing that he worked hard to support himself and to pay for his tuition. Thinking about how he moved around in this small living quarters in complete solitude with no one to come back to, no one to talk to day in and day out and fresh tears came to her eyes. She had always run to Naruto for comfort, never thinking about the loneliness that surrounded his whole being. He worked very hard to mask it, she thought, as the past two days were the only times that he had ever allowed any bit of sorrow to show on his face._

_Wanting to embrace him badly, she felt utterly pathetic as she could do nothing for the people that meant the most to her. Why was she still alive? She thought to herself. It would be better to disappear than to cause anymore pain to others. And she found herself wanting to punish herself badly, in the worst of ways that she could think of. _

_Naruto stood outside his door, hesitating whether or not he should enter. He had just gotten off of work and decided to get some take out for Sakura knowing that he barely kept his fridge stocked with enough food. He usually had a large amount of ramen stored in his pantry, but he was worried if she had skipped her meals as he had know her to do so before when they were in high school. He slowly turned the knob to find that it was unlocked just as he had left it the day before. Wanting to make sure that she was okay, he quickly slipped in to notice her sitting on his couch and staring off into space. _

_He suddenly felt self-conscious of his unkempt living space. He knew that it was as much of a pigsty as Kiba had said it was. He let the thought go as she had already seen it all; there was no point in trying to straighten up the place now. Swallowing the nervousness of having to face her, he gathered as much of his courage as he could and put on a carefree expression. He placed the food down on the coffee table and turned to her with a smile. "I brought you some take out Sakura-chan, since I don't usually have good food around!" _

_But his cheerful demeanor fell as he noticed her turn to him slowly with absolutely lifeless eyes. Tears fell down her face and he felt his heart clenching. Was she like this the whole time he was gone? He thought, hating himself for bringing her into this state. Trying to pretend that he hadn't noticed he continued with his eyes to the floor. "Make sure that you eat and don't skip anymore of your meals!" He said as he walked out again. He returned to Kiba's place knowing that he couldn't stand a minute of watching her like that without wanting to destroy something. The loud shutting of the door after he left had caused Sakura to jerk back. He didn't even reach out to comfort her, she thought. That fact alone was tearing her apart. The food was left untouched as she kept on staring off into space. _

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_It was four days now Kiba thought extremely annoyed, when is the idiot going to leave!? He would get Naruto back by making him treat him to a big lunch today. Naruto, Shikamaru and Kiba usually got together for lunch on Fridays. "I'm letting you know right now Naruto that you're buying for me today!" he said as gave the menu an appreciative look. _

_Naruto scowled "I'm short on cash today Kiba, pay for it you're self!"_

_Kiba slammed the menu down to yell at him "Oy, who's been living off of me for the past week you little shit!" _

_Shikamaru regarded Naruto at the information "Don't you live two floors below him? Am I missing something?"_

_"Apparently Sakura's been staying at his place!" Kiba said with a frown. Naruto gave him a glare "What?" he asked defensively_

_Shikamaru wondered why Naruto seemed so annoyed with others knowing this fact. Everyone knew that they were close friends; he didn't see what was wrong with that. "Naruto, aren't you forgetting that I got Temari knocked up? What could you possible be keeping in that would surprise me to be more stupid or troublesome than what I've done?" He asked as he leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his soda. _

_Kiba smirked at Naruto before he announced "He slept with her and so he's been avoiding her by staying at my place!"_

_Shikamaru spit out his drink at Naruto who sat directly across from him "You did what!" he exclaimed uncharacteristic of his usual calm self. _

_Naruto let out a growl as he reached forward with his right hand to grab at the collar of Kiba's shirt. "What next you bastard, are you going to announcing this to the whole world?"_

_"Oy Naruto, calm your ass down!" Shikamaru said as he pried Naruto's hand away from Kiba and handed him a napkin to wipe off the soda he spat out from shock. Noticing the contempt in Naruto's feature he added "Boy that was stupid! Even though you know that she…" he trailed off not wanting to anger Naruto further. "So what are you gonna do?" he asked _

_Naruto stilled and threw the napkin down to the table "How the hell am I suppose to know?" his voice clearly angry. _

_Shikamaru sighed as he thought about his own situation with Temari. She had turned so troublesomely emotional through all of this. "Well all I can tell you from experience is women usually need tons of comfort in times like this! If you avoid her, it'll only make things worse."_

_"I know that Shikamaru!" Naruto said exasperated "But it doesn't make things any easier!"_

_Shikamaru frowned at his answer, he always knew Naruto to be straightforward that the cowardice he now saw in him was beginning to get annoying. "You better pick between things being easy and not losing your best friend!" he informed Naruto._

_Shikamaru's words kept playing out over and over in his head for the rest of the day. He knew he had to face her, had to take care of her like he had promised her. Naruto and Kiba both came back together to their apartment building and were climbing the stairs when Kiba noticed Naruto stop on his floor. "You're not coming up?" he asked watching Naruto hesitate. _

_Naruto's head suddenly shot up as a look of determination crossed his eyes that had Kiba taken aback. "No, you go on up! I've taken enough advantage of your hospitality!" he said as he started down the hallway. Kiba was filled with relief at having gotten rid of the leech. He threw his hands up thanking the lord above. But his happiness was short lived as he heard Naruto call out "Oh and don't forget to take out the trash you dirty mutt!" _

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_Naruto took in a deep breath as he quickly opened the door and started to look for Sakura in his dark apartment. Was she sleeping? He wondered as he turned on the lights. He checked the bedroom but there was no sign of her there. Wondering if she had left when he knew that she had no where else to go; he started to call out her name and looked for her frantically. He found her sitting on his kitchen floor next to the breakfast table with her back to him. He looked around the kitchen to see that his cabinet doors and drawers were all open. What was she looking for he wondered as he neared her. _

_"Sakura-chan?" he asked _

_She turned to him and that was when he noticed the blood on her hands. She was on the floor cutting her self with one of his butter knife. He quickly ran to her and slapped the offending object from her right hand. "What the hell are you doing?" he yelled into her face as he roughly shook her but her eyes were as lifeless as he had last seen them. He quickly gathered her into his arms. He was only relieved that he had placed his kitchen knives in the last drawer to the furthest left having little use of them since he usually ate instant food. It was the one she had miraculously not opened or he probably would have found her in a pool of blood. "Were you punishing me, Sakura-chan?" he asked as his voice was breaking. He held her tighter as he felt the tears of fright falling from his eyes. "I'm sorry; I promise I'll never leave you again! How could you even think that I could ever go on without you?!" He was now sobbing into her hair as she lay motionless in his arms. _

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That memory was still fresh in his mind four years later as he hugged her sleeping form tightly to him. When he had taken her to the doctors, she was diagnosed with severe depression. They kept a close watch on her at the hospital for being a danger to her self. It was several months before he heard one word out of her. He was a mess back then having to see her that way. He never wanted to see that look on her again so when she rushed to grab him hours before that night, for a slight second his heart leapt as he was afraid of her turning back into what she was back then.

Placing a kiss on her forehead he decided never to force his feelings onto her. He had already caused her so much grief once by doing so. As long as he could be next to her, it was more than enough. But it was the fear of another man taking her from him that was eating away at him lately. Trying to empty his mind from that horrible possibility; he closed his eyes to fulfill his promise of still being there in the morning when she woke up.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Sakura woke up as a ray of sunlight kept hitting her face. She squinted as she sat up half way only to find Naruto's left leg entangled around her waist and his foot resting on her right calf. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she looked over to him as a smile was already working its way up to her. Naruto looked too adorable while he slept, she thought as she extracted herself from him. She pulled the covers over him, to let him rest a bit longer and went into the bathroom. When she was done refreshing herself for the morning, she stepped out to have the smell of something burning waft to her nose. She looked to the bed but saw that Naruto was already up. Walking to the kitchen she found Naruto holding one of her frying pans away from the stove trying to fan away the smoke.

"Naruto what are you…" before she could even finish she had startled him at the sound of her voice and the skin on his arm touched the hot pan burning it on contact. It didn't end there as he dropped the pan from clutching his injured arm which landed on his feet only to have him yelp in more pain. He now sat on her kitchen floor desperately nursing his injuries. "…doing?" she asked amazed by his antics. Sakura sighed as she walked over to her stove to turn it off and looked down to where he was.

"Gomen Sakura-chan, give me a minute!" he said as he was rubbing at the skin on his toes from the slight burns. Sakura turned on her kitchen faucet and grabbed at Naruto's arms to pull him up.

"Put some cold water on your wounds before they get worse!" she said as she put his arm into the sink directly under the tap and opened her freezer for an ice pack. She grabbed the ice pack and smoothed it over his toes. Naruto watched her ministrations as she was bent over in front of him and felt embarrassed.

"Sorry about all the commotion this early, Sakura-chan!" She immediately stood up and smacked his forehead.

"Just what were you trying to do Naruto, burn down my kitchen? Leave it to you to make trouble with just a fry pan and a stove!" she yelled at him.

Naruto felt thoroughly deflated "I was only trying to make breakfast for you before you got out of the bathroom. But I didn't know where you keep your onions and that was when I noticed that the pan was burning."

"What did you want with the onions?" she asked feeling her annoyance at him waning at the admission of him wanting to make her breakfast.

"I was going to make omelets." He said as he turned the faucet off when he felt his arm going numb from the running of cold water.

"Naruto, why would you leave the pan on the stove with oil when you haven't even mixed the eggs and everything together yet?" she asked concerned how many times he did this and when she will hear that he burned him self and his place down.

"I just wanted to hurry with a table full of food for you!" he said as he took a seat and continued to rub his injuries with the ice pack.

She ruffled his hair and was slightly surprised at how soft his locks were. "Naruto, you make it impossible to stay mad you! I know you mean well, but why don't I make breakfast? Those burns are going to sting all day!" she said as she started to pick up where he left off. In just about fifteen minutes she had two plates full of omelets and bacon. She placed them down on the table and got out the forks and some antiseptic that she had in one of the drawers. "Here put this on while I get the toast." She said as she handed him the antiseptic.

"Thanks!" he muttered as he did as she told him, feeling deject that he couldn't even fix her breakfast. He was hoping to impress her but that wasn't exactly how it turned out.

"Dig in!" Sakura said as she saw him sitting still. She was about to put some jelly on her toast when he stopped her.

"Let me get that for you…at least then I'll feel like I did something." He said as he spread the jelly for her. She couldn't help the smile that was reaching her lips. "What?" he asked as he caught her staring. "I know… I'm stupid!"

"And sweet." She added when she realized how eager he was to please her.

He grinned at her words and started to dig in. They ate in silence when she decided to tell him the thoughts that had occurred to her this morning when she found him still asleep next to her. "You were half correct about why you think I rejected Kabuto-san."

Naruto almost choked on his food and immediately looked up at her with curious eyes. "It is because I'm still not over Sasuke-kun, but not in the way that you think Naruto! I was hurt really badly by him and then there is also my dad who has made me into a charity case by sending me spending money every month for the last four years as his only assertion that I even exist! So I…I don't think I can trust men or in my naïve notion of love when I was younger. But mostly…" she trailed off

"What is it Sakura-chan?" he asked as he anticipated her answer.

"I…I don't really trust myself Naruto! I don't trust myself not to fall that hard again only to be utterly devastated. I don't want to be like that ever again!" she whispered harshly.

Naruto kept his eyes on his food. How had their conversation turned so serious he wondered but decided to ask the question that was burning in his mind. "Does…does that mean, you see me as untrustworthy too?" he asked with intense eyes.

He only felt relief when he saw her shaking her head in answer. "You're different Naruto! You've always been different!"

She glanced at him to find the blush that was spreading itself across his face like the jelly he had spread for her and felt thoroughly pleased. She raised an eyebrow "Ah! Is that a blush or is the omelet too spicy?"

"Uh…it's the omelet Sakura-chan!" He sputtered as he looked away from her.

She felt a smile playing on her lips when she asked "Aren't you forgetting something?" He only looked at her questioningly "You love spicy food, to the point that it's unhealthy!"

"Yeah but!...this is just….maybe you added…ugh never mind!" he said as he noticed the amusement in her eyes. She was clearly teasing but he found himself not minding as he loved seeing her in a light mood. "Did something good happen, Sakura-chan?"

Knowing he probably was asking about her change in mood she shook her head again "You haven't stayed the night before at my place to know, I like company in the morning!" she said as she got up and placed a kiss on his cheek before asking "Will you drop me to the hospital for work?"

He only nodded dumbly, still stunned at the touch of her lips. She was gathering the dishes and putting them under the sink when she felt Naruto's arms wrap her like a snake around her chest and stomach. "What are you doing?" she asked surprised

"Shh!" he said as he rested his forehead on her left shoulder blade. "I'm zapping all the energy from you!"

"Quit playing around!" she giggled as she tried to squirm herself out of his arms but he only held on.

She felt his warm breath on her ears and flinched. "Do you know how glad I am to see a smile on your face Sakura-chan? I'd do anything to always see you this way!"

"Naruto!" she breathed out at his words "Come on, we have to both get going!"

"Ah, you're right!" he said as he let her go. Sakura suddenly felt empty at the loss of his warm body behind her and his arms affectionately wrapped around her. 'And I thought I was the one teasing, but I guess I've thoroughly been defeated by you!' she thought to herself as she finished the dishes.

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Shikamaru watched his four year old entertain herself with her toys and tea set. She had barely even spoken a word to him but was having lively conversations with her stuffed toys. He had given Temari a weary look when he saw the loads of things she had brought along while dropping their daughter off with him. "Is all that necessary?"

But his ex-girlfriend only rolled her eyes in the way that had always annoyed him. "She's just like her father, she likes to be left alone to her own devices. Do you know that she had called me troublesome the other day when I asked her how her day was? But I bet you must be proud!"

Temari had a habit of sneering at him with her every word since they broke up. He guessed that she was still bitter but he couldn't deny that he wasn't either. Shaking him self from his thoughts he tried to get his daughter's attention.

"Ne Yume-chan, do you think daddy can be one of the guests at your tea party?" he asked as he kneeled down to her level.

But Yume only graced her father with annoyance "No, daddy! Don't you have grown-up things to do?"

He was still amazed at how fluently she spoke every word with effortless pronunciation at her age. He guessed the genius I.Q. ran in the family. "Well daddy isn't busy right now so I can play with Yume-chan!" He said as he took a seat in one of her small plastic chairs but it tipped him over, not being able to support his weight. The accident had him knocking down the other two chairs that had Yume's stuffed rabbit and bear.

"Daddy!" Yume yelled in horror. "Didn't I say no! Boy you're so troublesome!" His four year old grumbled as she put her toys back the way they were.

"Ah gomen, Yume-chan!" he muttered as he left her alone from both the feelings of embarrassment and rejection. Deciding to read as a way to pass the time, he grabbed a book from his bookshelf and took a seat on his lounge chair. He looked over at his daughter once more who had gone back to playing and pressed his temples at the headache that was forming from the sheer rejection. That was when his door bell went off.

He opened the door to find Ino standing there with a container in her hands.

"Hey neighbor!" she greeted like always as if to ward off the impression that she visited him for any reason other than as a friendly neighbor but he knew better. "I made a bit too many brownies, so I thought I might give you some since I do have to watch my weight!"

He gave her a once over. "Ino, you actually need to put on some weight!" He had always been attracted to women who ate well and had some meat on their bones. Maybe that was one of the reasons he was so taken with Temari the first time he saw her.

But Ino only ignored him as she pushed past him and welcomed herself in. "Ara, is that Yume-chan?" she asked when she noticed the little girl playing by herself on his living room floor. Yume got up and rushed towards her.

"Ino nee-chan!" she said as she gave the woman a hug. "Will you stay to play with Yume?" she asked enthusiastically

"Why of course!" Ino said as she joined Yume with her tea party.

Shikamaru shook his head. He still couldn't understand why Yume was so attached to this woman when she gave the cold shoulder to both of her parents. But he only added it to his list of reasons of why he probably will never understand women. Returning back to his reading, his eyes wandered several times towards Ino and Yume. Ino was now holding Yume on her lap while she read animatedly from a story book. The look of excitement and joy in his daughter's eyes brought back an old longing.

He imagined another blonde sitting in his living room reading to her daughter. He knew it was so long ago but still wished that Temari, Yume and him self could be a family again. He still felt his heart race at the sight of his sexy ex-girlfriend. But it was her that had thrown him out when she was pregnant with Yume. It was about the time when he was just finishing with his second semester at Tokyo U. He struggled between trying to make rent and keeping up with his studies. Since they got a place together things hadn't been smooth sailing as it was easier when he dormed from his full scholarship.

And her unpredictable temper wasn't helping them either. She was fighting with him again as to why he missed going to the seven month check up with her. He was trying to tell her that his education was also important for their future. But she wouldn't budge as she said there was no excuse. He yelled at her then and said that if they hadn't moved in together his grades wouldn't suffer from trying to make ends meet. Then it probably wouldn't have mattered if he missed a class or not.

Shikamaru wouldn't forget the look of anger he had seen in her eyes when she told him to get out. She said that they shouldn't be together if she was such a burden on him. He had never been one to beg and plead. His pride was too much to throw away so he had done as she had said. But four years later, now an engineer who made much more money than he needed to spend, he wondered if it was worth the loneliness. He still loved her but the bitter memories kept him from saying anything. He came back to the present moment and watched as Ino asked Yume if she wanted some of the brownies that she had baked.

It was then that he decided to stop Ino's interfering. "No, it's bad for your teeth Yume!" he said as took the brownie away from her.

"Come on Shikamaru, only one can't hurt." Ino said in Yume's defense.

"Ino, I really don't need you to tell me how to raise my daughter!" he answered her snappily.

"I didn't mean anything by it Shikamaru!" she said as she tried to mask the hurt from his words.

"Could you please leave, Ino? I don't get much time to spend with Yume as it is without you here!" he said as he opened the door for her.

Ino stared at him in shock and felt Yume pulling at her clothes. "Don't go yet, Ino nee-chan!" Yume begged with pleading eyes.

"Sorry Yume-chan, but I should probably get going!" she said as she gave the little girl a hug and walked out without sparing a glance at Shikamaru, not trusting the tears that were threatening to fall out.

Shikamaru closed the door after her and felt the swift kick to his shin. He grabbed at the injured area and turned to find his daughter staring at him with anger. "I hate you daddy! You always take away my fun!"

"Yume!" he scolded but she ignored him as she went into his bedroom and locked the door. She really did inherit her mother's temper, he thought as he rubbed his shin. He supposed that it was his fault for throwing Ino out. But he was resenting her for bringing back old memories as she acted much too friendly with his daughter in the way a mother should. He had long ago decided not to let anyone else take Temari's place as Yume's mother. He didn't care much about starting a new relationship as his heart was still broken from the girl that he wanted to marry.

--------

Sakura thanked Naruto for dropping her off to work. "Hey, Naruto?" she called out to him as he was about to leave.

"Yeah?" he asked

"I have tomorrow off, so why don't you come over for dinner and a movie?" she said and she noticed the grin that was spreading across his mouth.

"Really? Of course I'll be there!" he replied enthusiastically and sped off. She smiled at how easy it was to make him happy.

"Sakura-san?" a deep baritone voice asked from behind her.

"Ah, Kabuto-san!" she greeted uncomfortably. There was something about him always creeping up on her that unnerved her. "Are you working today too?" she asked making small talk. They both worked as phlebotomists at the hospital and they were medical students in the same class, it seemed there was no getting rid of him.

"Yes, I guess unfortunately for you!" he said with a smirk as he looked toward where Naruto had left.

"What do you mean?" she asked feeling awkward.

"Was that the man you're seeing?" he asked. She gathered that he was talking about Naruto and she felt herself wanting to shield herself behind Naruto.

"Yes, he is." She said so that the man wouldn't bother her.

"Ah well, I feel humbled by your choice!" he said as he gave her a half bow. She only stared after him wondering what he meant. He was always elusive with his words, if there ever was a man she wouldn't trust, it would be him!

After work Naruto had picked her up again and dropped her at her place. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot!" he said as he handed her, her car keys. She looked at the keys to where her car was parked in the parking lot.

"Arigatou!" she said as she took them from him. "At least now, I won't have to inconvenience you all the time."

"No way Sakura-chan! I'm glad you not having your car meant more time to hang out with you!" he told her. She only took him into an embrace and bid him goodnight.

She had just walked into her apartment with she heard the rapping on her door. Thinking that it was Naruto who may have forgotten something she opened the door abruptly. "What did you forget now Naru…" she stopped when she noticed it was Ino who was standing there with a grief stricken face. "Oh, it's you Ino!"

"Yeah it's me, couldn't you look anymore happier?!" she spat as she pushed through Sakura. Sakura closed the door after her, wondering when Ino would stop with the barging in.

"So, what's going on?" she asked the blonde who was already in her kitchen looking for something to drink. She swiftly took a bottle of beer and had started chugging it down.

"Ugh that man gets under my skin!" she said as she slammed the bottle to the counter. She turned to Sakura and said "Let me stay at your place tonight!"

"Why?" Sakura asked.

"I just don't want to be alone tonight alright!" she yelled as a tear had escaped her eyes.

"Okay, okay!" Sakura said as she went to get her some tissues. Ino snatched it from her hands and dried her eyes and blew her nose.

She looked at Sakura who was watching her wearily and said "That reminds me, were you expecting Naruto when I knocked?"

Sakura knew where this was going and decided to avoid the nosy interrogations. "I don't know what you're talking about, I was just getting in." she said as she was walking away from Ino.

"Humph, you don't have to lie! I saw him leaving when I was coming in." she announced as she blew her nose once more.

Sakura closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning back towards her busy body friend. "He was only dropping me off okay?"

But Ino's eyes had turned serious at the defense. "You know, if you don't like him, you shouldn't use his feelings to your advantage!"

Her words felt accusing to Sakura "I'm not! He is important to me!" she tried to explain.

"But not important enough to start a relationship or reciprocate his feelings?" Ino asked now calmer.

"Why are you asking me all of this?" Sakura asked a bit annoyed.

"It's only a simple question, why can't you answer it with a yes or a no?" Ino kept pushing.

"Because it's complicated!" Sakura answered exasperated.

Ino could feel the tears coming to her again. "Boy I wish it was complicated for me! But it's clear that he doesn't want me at all." Sakura tried to comfort her distressed friend but was feeling drained by her company. Ino sniffed and told her through a tear soaked face "If you don't love him then don't lead him on like this! It hurts to wait around for the one you love to acknowledge you!"

Sakura was startled at her words. Was she just leading Naruto on? He meant so much more than that to her. But if everyone thought of it that way, what did Naruto think of it? She was a terrible woman, she thought for always keeping Naruto at arms length.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Ino was now sprawled on Sakura's living room couch downing her third bottle of beer. Sakura took in a deep breath as she watched the blonde. "But you know…" she hiccupped "I suppose it's different when you are at the receiving end. You like being flattered by all the attention that Naruto showers on you don't you? That's why you keep him around you shrewd you!" she was laughing and hitting Sakura's back hard with her palms. Sakura realized that the woman before her was completely drunk as she dodged the attacks.

"Oy, Oy! Don't you think you've had too much to drink? You're sputtering all kinds of nonsense!" Sakura said as she took the remaining alcohol away from Ino.

But Ino only laughed harder and held her stomach "Me, sputtering nonsense? Ha! That's the reason I've always hated you, you wench! Always pretending like you were innocent and having the boys fall all over you! Why don't you admit it, there is no one around here to hear, you're just as greedy as I am!"

Sakura was feeling the blood rush to her head; Ino was much too blunt when she was drunk. "Aren't you just taking your anger of Shikamaru out on me?" she asked in her defense "Naruto and I, we've always been good friends and…"

Ino glared at her and immediately cut her off "Then what the hell do you think we were? Enemies!? We…we were friends too that was until…until Chouji died!"

She was looking at her hands that were now trembling and Sakura could already guess at the thoughts that were racking her brain. "Until I…I killed him!"

Sakura ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Hey Ino, snap out of it! You know better that it was a drunk driver who killed Chouji."

"I was the one driving! I was the one who took his best friend away, he must hate me!" Ino was now crying into her hands.

Although Sakura felt annoyance at first, she couldn't help but to pity the girl sitting in front of her. "Calm down Ino, it's only going to upset you more if think about the past. You're a beautiful girl; there are other guys that will be better for you than Shikamaru!"

"Don't give me that crap! I either have guys running from me when they see the real me or not even give me the time of day!" Ino wailed now. Sakura sweat dropped at how little self esteem the woman had when she was drunk as opposed to when she was sober. It was like night and day. But nevertheless Sakura tried her best to comfort Ino. When she was done wallowing in her sorrows she turned to Sakura and added "You should consider yourself lucky Sakura. I mean honestly, we are no longer in high school; there is no reason to still want someone who is only good for being an eye candy. You'll probably never find anyone that adores you as much as Naruto!"

Sakura could see Ino now in the process of dozing off so she went to find her a pillow and a light blanket. "Here!" She said as she tucked the pillow under Ino's head.

"Just give that man a chance, Sakura! Give him a chance!" she said as she now tossed and turned to find a comfortable position. Sakura was worried that Ino would probably come tumbling down from the couch at the rate she was going. It wouldn't do her back any good though to pick Ino's dead weight up. But she was relieved when she saw Ino stilling and laying flat on her belly. "Damn it Shikamaru, give me a chance!" she mumbled in her sleep.

Sakura watched the blonde woman before her carefully. When it was only the light snoring that she heard from her, she let out a big sigh from feeling thoroughly drained. This wasn't the first time that Ino had taken advantage of her hospitality when she wanted to drown her sorrows. It made her feel exhausted emotionally every single time though.

They weren't exactly the best of friends and the rivalry that they had against each other had also waned down in the years following Sasuke's absence. She guessed that she only had sympathy for the woman's unrequited love towards Shikamaru. Through everything that had happened to her, Sakura didn't really trust anyone to pour her heart out to in the way Ino did. She only turned to Naruto for any sort of comfort but it left her wondering where he went when it was her that caused him pain.

She could feel the tears well up in her eyes. It broke her heart to think that maybe he dealt with it all on his own just the way she had always seen him swallow any pain that came his way. Sakura knew better than anyone that she would be happy in Naruto's arms, that night four years ago was proof enough. He had been so gentle and tender when he made love to her. His soft caresses and whispers of sweet nothings were painfully beautiful. They both pretended as if it never happened, as if it were a dream, they never spoke of it. Knowing that she was living a lie and having him go silently along made her feel that she couldn't deserve him! Not when she had used him once, that guilt had her wanting to hurt herself.

Those three months that she spent in the hospital were hell for Naruto. She never wanted to do that to him again. Looking over at Ino who was in deep sleep Sakura thought about what she had just said and whispered. "It's not that I don't want to give Naruto a chance Ino, it's just that I'm too afraid to lose what we have right now. As selfish and greedy as it is, I can't live without him. Love is only an illusion…it won't last…not like our friendship!"

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Ino was quiet all throughout breakfast. Sakura had placed some aspirin next to her with a glass of water for the hangover that Ino was probably having. They both ate in silence and when they were done Ino did all the dishes. "Thanks for putting up with me!" She muttered before she left. Sakura always got a kick out of Ino's bashful side the morning after. She supposed it must be embarrassing to show her vulnerability to her ex-rival. But for some reason Ino only showed it to her under the misunderstanding that Sakura was the only one who knew how she felt about Shikamaru. She didn't have the heart to tell her that it was pretty much obvious to everyone.

A little after Ino left, Sakura also went out to buy groceries. When she got back she vacuumed, dusted, and moped the floors, trying to get everything as clean as possible. It was a routine she had whenever she invited Naruto over for dinner. She would clean the place like a madwoman and then cook up a storm as if he was the grandest guest she had ever had. She had to admit that it filled her loneliness and maybe even his. Two people with no family to turn to, it was her way of creating happiness for him.

When she heard the door bell, she opened the door to find Naruto outside holding the shiny black guitar that she had given him as a birthday gift two years before. "Wow Naruto, you took really good care of that, it still looks brand new…do you not play it?" she asked feeling a bit disappointed that he might have not liked the gift when she had spent so much money on it.

Naruto only gave her a soft smile "It was the first time you gave me something…of course I can't just casually rough use it."

Sakura closed the door and clapped her hands together in excitement. "Then you'll play some songs for me today?"

Naruto timidly answered "It's been a while…but you're the only one that I'll ever play for."

Sakura could feel the heat on her cheeks at his admission. Naruto had a sweet angelic voice when he played on his acoustic guitar but he felt too shy to ever perform in front of others. She was the only one he had ever played for before. It was back in the three months that she had spent in the hospital's psych ward when he had first sung for her.

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_Her room was in the middle of the hallway near the nurses' station so as it would be easier to keep an eye on her. When Naruto had rushed her to the hospital, they had admitted her right away due to dehydration. On top of the diagnosis of severe depression they had also assessed her to be anorexic. The charge nurse started her on a gastric feeding tube a little after she was brought to her room and they checked on her every fifteen minutes. But all of that was not enough to chase away Naruto's anxieties as he stuck by her side the entire time. _

_Sakura's charge nurse sighed as she looked at the blonde resting his head on the side of the bed as he stared at her patient's sleeping face. Uzumaki Naruto was it? She told him to go home the night before when visiting hours were over but he had thrown such a fit that she had no choice but to let him stay. She knew from her thirty four years of age that the boy was madly in love with the girl in front of him. They were at that tragic age of youth when the young sometimes lose their will to live. _

_She cleared her throat in order to get Naruto's attention and he turned to her with a tired expression. "Uzumaki-san you should probably return home…there are many of us here who will watch over her."_

_Naruto pressed his eyes close at the twitch that was forming from the lack of sleep. His voice was raspy as he tried to make out her name from the name tag through his blurry vision. "Thank you…ah…"_

_"You can just call me Shizune!" she said when she noticed him squinting at her nametag. _

_"Shizune-san, I would like to stay until she wakes up." Shizune had a soft smile at his excuse; he probably planned to stay long after that._

_"The tranquilizer that we gave her in the morning should wear off about sometime tonight, why don't you rest and come back tomorrow?" she said as she took Sakura's vitals again. She heard him sigh._

_"How can I rest when she is here?" he whispered._

_Shizune gave him a reassuring look. "Then, I would have to ask what you think you can do for her in that exhausted state."_

_Naruto averted his gaze to the floor trying to hide his pale face and swollen baggy eyes. "I'm fine."_

_Shizune squeezed his left shoulder "I'm sure Sakura-san would want you to rest as well." Naruto immediately looked towards Sakura who was still asleep._

_"I'll leave in twenty minutes." He finally told her reluctantly. Shizune couldn't help but smile at how innocent and caring he was. But her thoughts were interrupted when a man in a black suit entered the room abruptly. _

_"Who might you be?" Shizune asked. Naruto also turned his head at the sound of her voice and his eyes widened as he saw Haruno-san standing at the door, staring intensely at his daughter. He lowered his gaze and clenched his fists trying to not be livid at the sight of this man._

_Haruno-san flinched when the charge nurse asked who he was again. "I'm her father…" he whispered, the shame was palpable in his voice "How is she?" _

_Shizune looked from Naruto to Haruno-san and realized that something was definitely off. "Why don't you come to my office and we can talk." She said as she led the way. Naruto on the other hand definitely had no intention of leaving Sakura's side now; not when that man who was her father showed up two days after she was admitted. Naruto wouldn't let him hurt her anymore. About half an hour later Haruno-san walked back into the room. _

_"So you must be Uzumaki Naruto, the friend that she was staying with?" he asked as he addressed Naruto. "Although I'm not thrilled that she was staying with a man, I'm grateful to you for having taken care of her!" he said as he bowed in front of Naruto. "I'll be shouldering the hospital bill and whatever other treatment that she'll need so you needn't be so concerned. Why don't you head home for now young man?"_

_Naruto glared at him. "Maybe you don't know this but she needs someone to stay by her side at all times. And until she tells me to go, I won't move an inch!"_

_Haruno-san sneered at him "I'm happy that my daughter has loyal friends but don't you think your loyalty borders on stupidity. When I, her father am here why do you need to stay? Who are you to her?" _

_Who was he to her? He wondered that too as he held her hand the night before and watched as she slept. He probably meant nothing to her but she was his everything and he would protect her this time. "It doesn't matter who I am, the only one that matters is Sakura-chan."_

_Haruno-san let out a sigh of aggravation. "Fine, have it your way! I should get going anyway; both mother and daughter are always causing trouble!" He muttered the last part as he stormed out. Naruto still stared after Sakura's father and truly understood the hurt that she felt that night when he found her waiting at his doorstep. He was only glad that she hadn't heard what he said about her. _

_--------_

_Naruto reluctantly went home and was called into work the next day. He couldn't concentrate at all as he thought about Sakura the whole time. He knew he had to cheer her up somehow and take away some of her sadness. She was still in that lifeless state even after she woke up, staring off into space and not uttering a single word. After work he rushed home to wash up and grab the old acoustic guitar that Iruka-sensei had given him back when he used to live in the orphanage. Then he was off to the hospital again. But when he knocked on her door before entering as they had instructed him to do so, he heard a different voice from within. _

_"Come in!" a female he hadn't heard before told him._

_He entered inside to find a girl maybe older than him by a couple of years sitting in a corner of the room with the curtains drawn and all the lights off while Sakura lay in bed staring off at the ceiling. _

_"Who are you? What are you doing in Sakura-chan's room?" he asked as he saw her watching TV. _

_She only gave him an annoyed glare "I should be the one to ask that!" she was now flipping channels, completely ignoring him. _

_"Why are you here?" he tried again _

_The girl only grew more annoyed "Look I'm not here because I want to be, they are paying me to sit her."_

_"Well then…shouldn't you at least engage a conversation with Sakura-chan or even pay some attention? If you're getting paid why don't you treat her a bit decently and show some manners towards her visitors!" he said as he found himself getting agitated that such a person was assigned to watch over Sakura. _

_ "Does it even look like she'll be talking to anyone anytime soon? She's almost no different than a vegetable!" she answered as she turned back to the TV._

_"What did you say?" he asked through gritted teeth but the sitter only ignored him. "Get out!" he yelled at her now._

_"Who are you to tell me that? You're not the one that hired me!" she asked barely feeling threatened._

_Naruto just about had enough and went to look__for the charge nurse. __He searched for Shizune as he made his way through the crowded hallways. "Shizune-san! Shizune-san!" he called after her as he spotted her talking to another nurse. She turned to him with a questioning look on her face._

_"Naruto-san I'll be right with you." She said as she turned back to the nurse who was by her side._

_"But Shizune-san!" he protested_

_"I'm getting report right now, please hold on a moment!" she answered firmly. Naruto waited another five minutes while the two nurses finished conversing. "Geez Naruto-san your worse than a parent or a husband! What is it that couldn't wait?" _

_"Who is that person watching Sakura-chan? She barely is paying attention to Sakura-chan at all! Please assign someone else!" he pleaded._

_Shizune sighed "Unfortunately it was Haruno-san that hired the private sitter. We aren't in control of much of what she does; we can only offer to give her relief for breaks while someone else sits there with Sakura-san. And you not being her guardian also don't have much say in the matter." She informed him. She could already see the boy's face darkening. _

_Naruto knew that he didn't have much of a say because he wasn't anything to Sakura. Could he really do nothing for her? Shizune feeling bad had offered "Tell you what, why don't I tell the young lady who is watching Sakura-san to take a break the whole time you're in there with her?" _

_Naruto was grateful to her. When he was alone with Sakura he opened the curtains letting the afternoon sun fill the dim room. He sat next to the bed in the direction that Sakura was facing. She only blinked up at him; her face was void of any expressions or focus. He forced a smile despite feeling helpless in seeing her this way. "It was awfully dark in here wasn't it? I wanted to fill it with some sunshine for you. You know Sakura-chan, the first time I saw you when we were only twelve years old, and I thought that you were the sunniest and prettiest girl I had ever seen! So to put if even the hint of a smile on your face I brought my guitar along." He said as he unzipped the case of his guitar. _

_"Now, I know what you're thinking!" he said as steadied the guitar in his arms. "You're thinking that I might be tone deaf and suck but Iruka-sensei was the one who taught me and gave me this old girl right here. So if you want to blame anyone just blame him for telling me to try. This is my first time ever playing for anyone so I hope you won't mind Sakura-chan!"_

_Sakura only stared off as his fingers were pulling at the strings of the instrument. He played Waiting in vain by Bob Marley and shyly sang along. _

"_From the very first time I blessed my eyes on you girl,_

_My heart said follow through_

_But I know now that I'm way down on your line_

_And the waiting feeling is fine… _

_I don't wanna wait in vain for your love_

_Cause if summer is here _

_I'm still waiting there _

_Winter is here_

_And I'm still waiting there."_

_Some of the nurses huddled near the door as the sound of music filled the air. They listened for a bit before going back to work. "Reminds me of my first love." One of them whispered to another. Shizune took all of this in with a smile and she trusted that Haruno Sakura would be alright. _

"_Like I said:_

_It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door,_

_And still I can knock some more;_

_Ooh girl, ooh girl, is it feasible?_

_I wanna know now, for I to knock some more._

_You see, in life there is lots of grief,_

_But your love is my relief._

_Tears in my eyes burn, tears in my eyes burn_

_While I'm waiting, while I'm waiting for my turn._

_I don't wanna wait in vain for your love."_

_--------_

_It would be a month and a half since Sakura's stay at the hospital. She had been slowly progressing although she had yet to say a word. Her quietness was attributed from the shame that still burned through her whole being. And she didn't know when she would be over it._

_She now walked to the lounge area and would sit staring out the long windows. They still kept her on the gastric feeding tube and encouraged her to eat, though her tray was almost always left untouched. The psychiatrist that she was seeing had been spilling his guts out to her as he saw that she remained quiet through all of their sessions. He was trying to get her as comfortable or as annoyed with always having to hear from him to get a response. _

_Naruto came by every day after class or work to see her. He would occasionally bring along the guitar to play for her and always brought white calla lilies which he knew to be her favorite. When her room was filled with them he brought some geranium daisies to add some color. He tried to surround her in her favorite things. Though that led the room to smell like she was stepping into a garden and the strong fragrance also sometimes kept her awake at night. One nurse that had been assigned to Sakura was sent into a sneezing fit the whole shift from entering her room once. Sakura felt so bad for her that she almost voiced an apology…almost. _

_She felt a little ridiculous lately from causing so much trouble for others but her feelings of self worth weren't as bad as that night she cut herself. Looking around at the other patients she found herself to be much better off than others. Some of them were here because they had been raped or suffered from substance abuse and one of the women she had seen hysterically crying had recently lost her baby in still birth. _

_She could barely compare to them as she had a friend in Naruto who never left her side through the whole thing. Realizing the loss of a first love and parents that wanted nothing to do with her were barely reasons to end a life. Why even the psychiatrist who's care she was under had sadder stories to tell…especially the one about how he got into the field. If anyone needed to be counseled on thoughts of suicide it was him she thought as he sometimes broke down crying talking about his childhood and how his mom never once hugged him. Apparently he wanted to help others who felt the same as he always started off each session with a magic hug. She wondered if his mother was homophobic because she really couldn't see Gai-sensei as anything other than gay. _

_--------_

_Naruto rubbed at the tension of muscles on his shoulder as he walked towards Sakura's room with his guitar again only to find it empty. Shizune entered at the same time as she noticed him. She could already see the panic in his eyes. "Fear not Naruto-san, she hasn't run away! Sakura-san just took a walk to the lounge area." _

_"I'm not that paranoid!" Naruto said in his defense._

_Shizune only smirked and leaned her back against the door. "I have to warn you though…some of the staff here are falling for you for the way that you take care of Sakura-san. You've been causing quite a distraction around here lately! With the singing and all the flowers…" She trailed off._

_"You could hear me?" he asked feeling embarrassed. _

_"Did you think that these walls are sound proof or perhaps that we are hard of hearing?" she teased when she noticed the blush on his cheeks. "I have to say though Naruto-san that Sakura-san is doing much better because of you…I don't think your wait will be in vain. Sakura-san is a lucky girl to have someone like you to warm her heart!" _

_It was at that time that Sakura returned to her room. "Ah Sakura-san, we were just talking about you! It seems a little songbird has come again to croon for you." She said as she left to give them some privacy. Sakura looked from Shizune to where Naruto stood. He gave her a bright blinding smile that pulled at her heart strings. She blinked a couple of times…maybe she had only imagined it. He reached over and grabbed her hand and had her sit by the window. _

_"I'm glad you're getting out of bed more often! Shizune-san is also saying that you're getting better." It was a partial lie, he wasn't too happy to see that her eyes were sunken in from the weight she had lost. "When you're out of here, we should go somewhere to relax. I can't guarantee it'll be very nice though… I really won't be able to afford that." He took out his guitar from its case again. "I'm so sorry Sakura-chan! All I could ever give you is songs on an old guitar and a lousy place to stay that is only stocked with ramen. But if I could I would do anything to make you happy." He said as he started to play the chords missing the pained expression that Sakura sent his way. He was singing Eric Clapton's "Tears in heaven" for her._

"_Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure,_

_And I know there will be no more tears in heaven._

_I must be strong and carry on,_

_Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven." _

_She looked away from him and stared at the ceiling. His voice was encompassing her. She wondered why she never knew this secret of Naruto's before. He had so many potentials yet here he was wasting his time on her. She wanted to be better for him; she didn't want to appear weak in front of him anymore. _

_"Why do you only sing old songs?" she asked. Her voice was a hoarse whisper. _

_Naruto didn't notice it at first as he answered "Well Iruka-sensei only had stuff from Bob Marley, Eric Clapton and Bob Dylan. He said the music nowadays no longer have that kind of heart but I guess he's just…" he trailed off as a realization burned in his mind. _

_He turned to Sakura with anticipation. "Sakura-chan did you really talk to me just now?" _

_She wanted to smile for him but as she went to say some more she ended up coughing. Naruto rushed to get some water for her. The cold liquid felt foreign on her throat. "Are you feeling hungry? What do you want to eat? Tell me what it is that I can do for you!" He asked all at once. _

_She watched him pace around the room getting things for her to eat, put a pillow behind her back and thoroughly fussing over her. She grabbed his hand before he went to get a blanket for her. "Stop!" she told him. "Just sit next to me." He noticed the seriousness in her eyes and took a seat next to her. He let out the breath that he didn't know he had been holding. Would she turn back to what she had been all along? He felt uneasy. He wanted to know what she was thinking as he watched her in deep thought. _

_"You're father had come by a couple of times…did he talk to you?" He asked in order to keep her engaged in a conversation._

_"No, I didn't know if he even knew that I was here." She said looking surprised. _

_"He dropped in every once in a while but I thought he might have at least came in to see you. I guess he only talked to your charge nurse." He was saying and watching her cautiously._

"_Maybe he only comes by to see if I'm still alive or have died." He could feel the resentment in her voice. "If this causes him even a little bit of distress, whether it be through time or money…it kind of makes me satisfied to know that I've caused him if even just a little trouble!" She turned to him with melancholy eyes "I'm a bad daughter aren't I?"'_

_He vigorously shook his head "You're just angry…it's understandable!"_

_"Understandable?" she asked as she let out a light laugh "Which part of me is understandable? Getting myself hospitalized or forcing you to go to bed with me and then crying buckets of regret afterwards? Just what is it that you see in me anyway?"_

_He didn't want to say how hurt he was because of her rejection, it would probably only add to her guilt. It would be better he thought if they only pretended that it never happened. "You don't need to worry about that anymore. I only want you to focus on getting better!" He regarded her with a look that was full of longing. "And as for how I see you; I see you for what you really are…for what others don't see and maybe you too. For you to accept a low life like me as a friend, that is more than enough to give you all my loyalty."_

_"It's wasted on me." He heard her say_

_"No it isn't! If I say that it isn't then it isn't!" He insisted_

_She didn't want to argue with him and only stayed quiet for the rest of the time. Just a bit before he had to leave he tried once more to get her to eat something. "I really don't have an appetite!" she told him._

_"Well there must be something that you want! What is it? You're wish is my command!" he said as he put his palm across his chest and bowed before her._

_She watched his silliness and honest efforts at trying to cheer her up. She couldn't understand what it was that she had ever done to deserve him as a friend. But watching him day in and day out was getting to be painful for her. She wanted to get better without having to see him, without anyone knowing about this part of her life. _

_"What I really want…" she said as she looked away from him and told him what had been plaguing her mind for the past couple of days. "…is to go to a place far away from here. I want to go somewhere where no one knows me…I want to find a reason to come back."_

_--------_

_Naruto had been in a dilemma for the next week as he thought about what Sakura asked of him. He didn't want to let her out of his sight but he could never deny her anything. She was her own person and he supposed that it was better than for her to go on in that lifeless form. He consulted Shizune about this as he hadn't really told anyone else of Sakura being here. They were both at the roof top talking as Shizune was on her cigarette break. The heavy wind was causing the ashes of her cigarette to glide all around them._

"_Well I suppose that this is real progress. It means that she truly wants to get better. Without really knowing her, I'm going to assume that she works hard at academics or whatever else to get acknowledgement from those that are important to her…is that right?" She asked Naruto_

_Naruto was a bit surprised at how accurate that was. "Yes." He said as he thought about Sakura. "Her parents had a shaky marriage so she always worked hard to maintain top grades and did anything so that it wouldn't seem as if she was being a burden. But the two of them separating hardly had anything to do with her. And then there was also a friend of ours that she was in love with. She'd bend over backwards to get his attention but to no avail. I can only understand that as I also pine for her in the way that she did over him. He left last summer to join the military and it really broke her heart." He let out a big sigh. "I guess I'm no good…I can't help but hate myself for not being enough for her no matter how hard I try."_

_Shizune ruffled his hair. "You're a really good kid so don't get down on yourself!" She told him "These are problems that she has to overcome herself. You see I've seen many girls like her…the type that try too hard to grasp some control as their whole world is falling apart. It's the reason that they end up here. But she is a strong person because her will for living is not yet gone. I know just the thing that will be good for her._

"_There is a volunteer program that needs more people to provide aid for the victims of the Tsunami in Indonesia from the disaster that happened a couple of months prior. You've heard of it haven't you?" She asked_

"_Of course, it's all over the news!" he exclaimed_

"_Well it will be taking place from March and will end in July. I think that it will be a great new experience for her and will probably feed her healing process. Since I have familiarity in being a volunteer myself, I've seen many of the young people that have participated really transform themselves through the experience into optimists and activists."_

"_But five months?" he thought out loud_

"_Fear not…she will come back to you!" Shizune reassured him. "A friend like you is probably the only reason she felt she could go on." Shizune got up and walked to the exit before turning back to him once more "Oh and one more thing…she won't realize it soon but I suppose it won't be that long until she finds that she is in love with you!" she told him with a grin._

_Naruto could feel his heart swell at those words. Shizune-san seemed like someone who read people well and it made him wonder if she would be right about the last thing. But he only felt disheartened when Sakura had actually agreed to the venture. He asked if he should accompany her but she was firm when she replied "I have to do this on my own Naruto; you can't fight all of my battles!" _

_Sakura worked hard to prepare her health in order to go. Even after her release from the hospital she met with Gai-sensei for a couple of weeks. He told her that she had to come see him after her volunteer service. "You're a cherry blossom of the spring, don't ever forget that. Live everyday like it is the spring time of your life!" he told her as words of goodbye. Sakura forced a smile but rolled her eyes at the cheesy line when he wasn't looking. She was pretty sure that he was gay._

_Naruto was uneasy the whole time as he watched her speedy recovery. He couldn't help but wonder if it was all temporary. He let her go despite himself and wrote to her almost every day. When no reply had come from her he began to worry. But it was her that had left a message on his answering machine telling him that she didn't have time to read through all of his letters and that she was doing well. He waited with a heavy heart until the day of her flight back. _

_She said she needed a reason to come back. Had she found it or would he have to wait longer? He was a fool to linger after her, he knew but his love for her wasn't something he could help. When he spotted her rolling her luggage behind her, it was her that graced him with a wide smile that he hadn't seen in so long from her. For a second he thought he had seen the wrong person but when she rushed to grab him in her arms his doubts had vanished. _

"_I can't tell you how much I've missed you Naruto!" she was saying_

_--------_

_As he sat across from her and took delight in her enthusiastically eating the food before her, he decided that the trip was just what she needed. Though she was still a bit thinner than he would have liked to see her, she was healthier than her stay at the hospital. He noticed that her hair had grown out; he wanted to reach over and brush the bangs away from her beautiful misty green eyes. He wanted to tell her just how much he had missed her. "Naruto, you've been staring at me the whole time!" Sakura informed him._

"_Gomen Sakura-chan, did you enjoy your trip?" he asked trying not to ruin her mood. _

"_I didn't enjoy anything, it wasn't a vacation! The death tolls there, the many children that were orphaned, the dirty water and mosquitoes; it was all unbearable!" she said as she was now playing with her food. _

_Naruto wondered how hard the living conditions there were and how she made it through the five months. She leaned towards him with a smile and told him "But I have to tell you Naruto, it was the most eye opening experience of my life!"_

_Naruto noticed the flicker of something in her eyes, was it hope, determination or maybe it was passion? "Then have you found it?" he asked. She only gave him a questioning look. "The reason."_

_She sighed as she thoughtfully gazed at him. "You know what I realized Naruto…I realized that we have so much that it makes us weak. Too weak to consider any heartbreak, too weak to make it through hard times but those people, they have nothing! In the wake of such a disaster their will to live hasn't faded. To have no one and nothing in the world, I was truly touched at how they moved on with their days." He could see the tears in her eyes from the memory "I'm sorry I'm getting too emotional!"_

_He shook his head "I'll listen to everything you have to say."_

_She felt the smile tugging at her lips from his words. "To answer your question I haven't just found a reason…I've found my dream! I want to go to medical school Naruto! And I want to be able to be of more assistance. I was stationed as help in one of the major hospitals. There were times when I couldn't sleep at night from what I saw and there were also times when I was moved to tears." Naruto was enchanted by her and how she talked so passionately. "I want to work really hard Naruto and I want to love others the way that you do, to touch the hearts of others the way you do."_

_Naruto's eyes widened. Could he really hope that her words meant what he wanted to hear? "Will you help me Naruto?" she asked breaking his reverie._

"_I don't know what you mean Sakura-chan but I will support you in whatever it is that you want to do!" he told her._

"_That's exactly what I mean! That humility and down to earthiness, the kids there would have loved you. Sometimes the atmosphere would get heavy and gloomy; you would've been able to really put a smile on their faces. I kept on thinking of you the whole time I was there and when things got hard I would read your letters and find some strength inside of me." She gave him a tender gaze. "I have you to thank for everything. When I graduate I'll travel all around the world and help as many people as I can but before that I'll need you to help me become a better person."_

_Naruto blushed and bashfully asked "I don't know about that Sakura-chan, aren't you just giving me too much credit?"_

_She leaned in towards him again "I mean it! Come to think of it, what is it that you want to do Naruto? When we were in high school, you had such determination, it was enviable! What is your dream?"_

_He was taken aback at the question. He wanted to say that it was her. That he had always dreamed of asking her to marry him, of having a lovely family with her. That hope had banished much of his loneliness but he felt too ashamed to tell her. He wanted her all for himself, to have her love him back, to be the mother of his children. He had planned their whole lives out in his head. But she had great aspirations; to ask her to conform to his simple fantasy would be to stand in her way. And that is something he would never allow for himself, he would never hold her back from her happiness and desires. Feeling inadequate he answered "I don't have one."_

--------

It would be another year till she graduated from medical school and his fear of losing her to her ambitions felt much closer as he watched her prepare the table for them to have dinner. While she was moving at a fast pace towards her future, he was stagnant as he hovered around her from day to day. He still remembered her chiding him for being so carefree about his life. But he couldn't tell her then and even now that she was all he had wanted his entire life…the love that he never had.

**Hi! I said I didn't want to interrupt the story with my babbles but there are a couple things that must be mentioned.**

**First. Disclaimer: I do not own Bob Marley's Waiting in vain and Eric Clapton's Tears in heaven. They are both beautiful songs and you guys should listen to Waiting in Vain – Bob Marley cover – Matt Shockley. Type it in that way on YouTube…this was the feel that I was going for when I thought of Naruto singing it. Listen to it and leave me a review of how you like it. **

**Second. I apologize for the delays in updating, lots have happened but I'll try to remain faithful to you guys with more chapters. **

**Third. I need an EDITOR!!! I write somewhere around 12- 15 pages per chapter so I have a lot of mistakes in the story. I need two people to fill this position so that the mistakes are non-existent. Please email me if you have Microsoft word 2007. The reviewing elements on it are great. **

**It's funny that the spelling and grammar check will try to change the names like how Naruto turns up as Narrator, Shizune as Seizure, and Hinata as Piñata. Oooh why have I mentioned Hinata? Have I revealed a bit too much? Stick around and see!!!**

**Other than that…please review and cheer me up. I've been a bit depressed lately. Sob Sob. You guys just don't show me enough love!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Naruto complemented Sakura on the delicious dinner that she had prepared. She wasn't always that good at it. After she got back from Indonesia, she started to take culinary classes. When she had just about finished moving in to the apartment that her father had bought her, she had eaten instant food for a whole week. Realizing that it was unhealthy for both herself and Naruto, she registered for cooking class. Naruto could still vaguely remember the taste of the burnt food on his tongue but he had forced it down to please her. When he suffered from a bad case of food poisoning because of her, she worked really hard to improve on her cooking. He was only happy back then to be a part of her life in anyway and to be of any help.

As he was helping her clean up, he wanted to tell her about his recent interest. "So, Kiba told me about this gym that's well known for Muay Thai and I went along with him and joined. It's really a captivating sport! The gym is open until late at night so it's great for my work schedule."

"You never told me that you had an interest in fighting." Sakura said trying to keep herself from telling him that it was a bad idea.

He shrugged "I didn't, I just wanted to give it a try."

She wanted to tell him not to, that she was worried he would get hurt. But that would probably get him thinking of proving her wrong so she said instead "Yeah, why not? You might find that you don't like it." That was what she hoped anyway and Naruto had caught wind of it.

"And what if I do? Would you disapprove?" he asked as he put his full attention on her.

She was struggling not to get angry as she said "Do you always have to follow Kiba into everything?" Naruto only gave her a questioning look. "I mean when he wanted to be a mechanic, you also enrolled along with him. You two live in the same building and now this…do you idolize him or something?"

Naruto gave a smirk "That's the last thing I'd ever do in the world. Kiba and I have known each other for so long it's only natural that our interests overlap. But I didn't think that you would be this against it! Is it just Kiba or are you only against the fighting?"

She thought about this diligently before replying. "I'm not sure…I just feel like you're always following someone else's lead. Like in high school you worked really hard at track only because of Sasuke-kun and now at this because of Kiba. I don't know if you're forgetting but Kiba is from a rich family and if he is ever over this rebellious phase of his, he just might go back to them.

"What I'm trying to say Naruto is that you don't have anything of that sort to fall back on." She noticed the look on Naruto's face and tried to say it another way. "So should you really be spending time on things like this? I just feel you have better potential than that Naruto!"

"No I don't!" he argued "The only thing that I've ever been good for is my physical strength. You're the one with the brains Sakura-chan."

Sakura regarded him for a moment and shook her head. "You really don't know you're self Naruto!" She decided to give the matter time, she knew better than to tell Naruto what to do. He's a man who could make his own decisions but she worried that he was still much too naïve. He was always picking up an interest but his whimsical thinking of trying to have everything too quickly had kept him from committing to anything long-term. She supposed it was one of the reasons he only finished three years at a community college under a certificate program to become a mechanic. She only wished that he would find an interest on something that put him at a higher career path.

As she was almost done tidying up a thought came to her and she hit her forehead with her palm. "I can't believe that I forgot to finish the essay that's due tomorrow! Sorry Naruto, guess I'll have to skip the movie." She said as she got out her laptop.

"That's alright." He answered as he watched her scurrying to get her assignments out. He took out his guitar and sat on the living room floor across from where she sat on the couch typing away. "I'll just give you some background music."

She turned very quickly to tell him "Ah, arigatou!" and turned back to her work as he filled the air with soft acoustic music. In just about forty five minutes she was done and stretching her arms "Perfect, I'll just edit in the morning."

"You only have a year left of school right?" he asked as he watched her put her computer away.

"Yeah, I'll be able to start my residency right after that. It's a bit nerve racking to think of though, I keep on wondering if I'll make a good doctor or not."

"You'll be great!" he reassured her "Hey, are you still thinking about doing the volunteer service work?"

She turned to him with a smile "You still remember that?" He wanted to say that he held on to her every word but decided against it. "Well of course, that's the reason I wanted to be a doctor in the first place. Although this time I would probably be stationed at a place for longer periods of time."

"How long?" he asked concerned

"Maybe two to two and a half years, I'm not really sure. Why?" she asked as she noticed that he had stopped strumming on the guitar.

"Just that I won't be able to see you for that long." He said looking away from her. She was taken aback as she realized that she hadn't thought of that before.

"Naruto…" she only called noticing how dejected he looked. But he hid it quickly and put on a grin for her.

"Ah, don't worry about me Sakura-chan! This is what you've wanted to do for a long time." 'Who am I to stand in your way?' he thought as he started to play again. "I have a song for you!"

"You do?" she asked as she hugged one of the pillows from the couch to her chest. She loved the fact that he only sang for her. And she couldn't explain how handsome he was when he played on his guitar; it was enough to make her blush.

As soon as he played the familiar tune and sang the first line of the lyrics "See the pyramids along the Nile…"

She asked "Hey isn't that from Shrek? I can't believe you're singing me a song from a children's movie!" she teased.

"Shh!" he scolded "This is not originally from Shrek…it was written by Bob Dylan. Although if I tried to sing this like him it would sound like this…" He made his voice nasally and high as he sang the first part again.

Sakura laughed at his silliness "Alright you've made your point…go ahead."

Naruto started over again as he sang Jason Wade's cover of Bob Dylan's "You belong to me." If Sakura was amused at first, she wasn't now as she felt herself slowly falling into his singing.

"See the market place in old Algiers

Send me photographs and Souvenirs,

Just remember when a dream appears,

You belong to me!

Oh, I'll be so alone without you!

Maybe you'll be lonesome too…

Fly the ocean in a silver plane,

See the jungle when it's wet with rain.

Just remember till you're home again

You belong to me!"

He smiled at how intensely she was looking at him. "If only you belonged to me, Sakura-chan."

She felt her heart skip a beat as he said so. She knew what he was trying to say, that no matter where it was that she went in search of her dreams, he wanted her to belong to him. But he was too afraid to say so and was trying to convey it through a song. He was so selfless, she thought as she found herself caught up in him. She wanted to reach over and run her fingers through his unruly blonde hair. His blue eyes shined with passion as he softly sang making him look undeniably handsome to her. It was like he was playing with her heart strings and not the guitar's. She felt this unbearable wanting to caress his face and kiss his sweet mouth. A blush came over her face as she realized her thoughts. What was wrong with her? Why was she thinking this way about him?

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked as he noticed her go quiet.

"Huh…say Naruto have you uh given that guitar a name?" She asked in an attempt to rid herself of the thoughts.

"Hmm no, but if I were to I'd probably call it Sakura-chan!" he answered enthusiastically

"What?" she asked wondering where that came from?

"Well you know, for musicians their instruments are almost like their lovers. It's an intimate relationship." He said as he ran his fingers over the strings.

Sakura blushed as she noticed the strange look on his face as he stroked the chords. "You pervert!" she exclaimed as she hit him with the pillow she was hugging.

"Sakura-chan I didn't mean it like that I swear!" he said as he tried to dodge the attacks but Sakura didn't relent. She had his back on the carpeted floor as she kept on whacking him on his face.

"Then what was that strange look you had baka?" She asked in between hits.

He finally grabbed at her wrists. "I meant a spiritual relationship Sakura-chan, why won't you believe me? I love you in spirit and not in body so I know that it's more intimate and lasting. I wouldn't name it anything else!"

Sakura stared at him as he tried to catch his breath beneath her and realized that she was straddling him. When she noticed a beautiful grin spread across his face the previous feelings of wanting to hold him and kiss him had intensified. "Aren't you the one with their mind in the gutter?" Naruto asked cheekily.

Her heart raced, was he reading her mind? She shook herself from her thoughts and said "Naruto!" in a warning tone.

He only chuckled and said "Okay, I'm sorry! I forgot how strong you were."

She playfully punched him on his shoulders.

He got up from his place on the floor and rubbed his eyes before asking "Can I sleep here Sakura-chan? It's too lonely at my place!" he pouted at her.

"Yeah…no problem!" she answered reluctantly trying to sound nonchalant when she was actually a bundle of nerves inside. How could she sleep with him here and these strange thoughts in her head? As if that weren't enough, he went straight into her bedroom and plopped down on her bed. He took off his t-shirt and only kept his white beater on that gave her a good view of his shapely muscles and lean waist.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked as he patted the pillow next to him.

Her face was twitching from disbelief as she stared at him from the door way. Was he trying to seduce her today? If anyone knew that they slept in the same bed they were bound to misunderstand. But she supposed that his behavior wasn't any different from usual and it was her that was strange. She hadn't felt uncomfortable before to share her bed with him but today…

Trying not to seem that awkward she said "Maybe I should finish editing that essay…you know…incase I might over sleep."

Naruto only rested his head against the pillow and answered "Alright but don't stay up too long…you'll feel really tried the rest of tomorrow."

She only turned away from him and got to work on that essay again, anything to keep her from thinking of attacking Naruto. When she finished another hour or so later and turned off the lights to walk to her bedroom, she found Naruto fast asleep.

He seemed so childlike when he slept…he almost seemed like a teenager. If she thought about it, in the five years since high school, Naruto seemed to stay the same in personality, childlike and innocent. It broke her heart to think of someone else getting to see him this way. The thought she had been trying to avoid from the time he had been singing was 'What if you were mine and only mine?'

Her reluctance from starting a real relationship with Naruto left her questioning, what if someone else were to snatch him away? He had no idea how sweet and handsome he really was and it worried her that some other girl would actually realize that. The thought that he would grace some other girl with that beautiful smile of his… that he would sing touching songs for another or actually be happy with someone else had her chest tightening and her breathing was becoming painful.

She ran her fingers through his hair in the way that she wanted to and inched her face closer to his lips wanting so badly to touch them with hers. A tear escaped her eyes and fell on his cheek. "What if…what if I'm falling for you Naruto?" she whispered to his sleeping form.

_--------_

Two weeks later Sakura had just clocked out of work and was walking out of the lobby of the hospital when she noticed Kiba at one of the vending machines. "What are you doing here Kiba?"

He jumped as he heard her voice from behind him. "Shit Sakura, don't sneak up on me like that!"

Sakura only gave him a questioning look. "I didn't know you were of the faintest heart."

Kiba ignored that comment "I'm actually here for Naruto."

Sakura felt her pulse race "Naruto?"

She rushed to the emergency room waiting area to look for Naruto when she heard Kiba tell her that he had to get stitches. She didn't even listen to the rest of what he had to say, she just wanted to know he was okay. She spotted his blond hair as he finished some paper work that a nurse had handed him. "Naruto?" she called out to him and saw his back stiffen at the sound of her voice.

"Sakura-chan!" he turned to her slowly. That was when she noticed the stitches around his left eyebrow and some more to the right side of his mouth. She was immediately at his side as she reached up with her fingers to touch his wounds.

He flinched at the pain that came along with her touch and saw the look of concern in her eyes. "How did this happen?"

"It kind of got serious when I was having a practice match." He answered cautiously knowing that she would probably throw a fit.

He was right on mark as he saw the flash of anger instantly at his admission. "Naruto! What the hell were you thinking? A practice match, don't tell me that you're seriously getting yourself into this dangerous sport?!"

"Don't worry Sakura-chan; it's not like this is something that will happen every day! I lost my guard only for a minute and that damned guy…" he stopped midsentence as he noticed the glare that she threw at him. She stared at the areas of stitches and his swollen flesh. "It's not as bad as it looks!" He tried to reassure her.

She softly rested her palms on his cheeks and brought his face down to her eye level. Naruto was caught in her soft but worried gaze. "Just what are you doing, Naruto? Why are you risking your body this way? What if you seriously get hurt?"

He reached up and thumbed the back for her hands in an effort to calm her. He loved her closeness and concern over him. It was something that no one had done for him before. "These injuries are nothing! My body is as tough as a rock, there isn't any wound on it that won't heal. And besides it is hardly anything precious to be careful with."

She was appalled at his words…it wasn't her imagination; she had once noted this before. Did Naruto really put such low importance on himself? If she thought about it, it wasn't only limited to his health but extended towards all parts of his life. He didn't aim too high with grades for as long as she had known him, was content with his current job as a mechanic and that small apartment in that run down building. He had that same attitude with relationships as he was only happy to be around her despite his sacrifices for her. He hardly ever asked for more. And on those rare times he did, he always backed down when he noticed the slightest bit of distress from her.

Why did he do this to himself? Was he a masochist of some sort that he welcomed pain in his life? When he noticed the way she stared him diligently he put on his masking grin. It was the façade that was full of confidence and an untroubled look he had perfected. "I'm fine Sakura-chan! Go home and rest. Didn't you just get off of work?" She could see right through it now, she knew him better. But she relented for the moment because he too could be stubborn when he wanted to be.

"Alright, but you better not get into another fight Naruto! Cause those wounds won't compare to the beating I'll give you!" She warned him

He put up his hands in defense "I swear I won't!"

_--------_

Sakura returned to her apartment and put some water to boil on her stove for that relaxing orange tea that she had gotten on her last visit to the supermarket. When she had stripped down to just a tee shirt and underwear, her door bell abruptly rang. Hoping that it wasn't Ino again who usually dropped in late at night without warning but when she checked through the door she was shocked to find Hyuuga Hinata.

"Hinata-san?" Sakura asked as she opened the door to the uninvited guest.

Hinata was as bashful as Sakura had always remembered her to be. "I'm very sorry for dropping in so late Sakura-san. I took the last train to Tokyo and just checked in at the hotel then headed straight here."

"That's alright, I'm used to people showing up abruptly…why don't you come in?" Sakura said as she stepped aside to allow her entrance. "I was just about to have some tea, would you like some?" She offered as Hinata had taken a seat on her living room couch.

"Yes, thank you!" was the reply. Sakura watched from her place in the kitchen as Hinata looked around her place. She felt humbled knowing that Hinata belonged to the prominent Hyuuga family. But it made her more curious as to why the woman was here.

When Sakura handed the cup of tea and placed some snacks down for her, Hinata politely thanked her. As Sakura observed her, she noticed how meticulous the woman before her was. The way she held her tea cup and drank, her manner of sitting; everything about her felt as if it was rigorously practiced to perfection. But Sakura guessed that it was necessary for Hinata to project such an image as she was the heir to the Hyuuga conglomerate. "So what brings you here to Tokyo? The last I heard from Neji about you, he said that you were a published children's book artist in Kyoto."

Hinata placed her tea cup down "Yes, I'm actually here to meet with a publishing company that was interested in my work so I'll be in the city for a week and a half." Sakura nodded at her answer and there was an awkward silence settling in between them. "I know I probably look strange to you Sakura-san for suddenly coming to visit you when we were never close nor did we talk much in our high school days but I had to talk to you as soon as I could." Hinata was staring at her cup and Sakura only waited for her to continue. "You see, Sakura-san I have a bit of a dilemma. My father wants me to get married by the end of the year. He has ordered me to return to the Hyuuga estate by next week for my arranged marriage meeting. Can you believe that? He's ordered me like a little child as if I don't have a will of my own, as if I don't have my own dreams or my career."

Sakura listened to the girl in front of her with sympathy. She had always done things her own way so she felt for Hinata who constantly was pressured by her father. "And you know the funniest thing…he said that since I'm not worthy of taking over the business he will have to find someone willing to accept the likes of me. All I've always been was an object to him, and now he wants to sell me off in marriage to whoever will bring the greatest merit to the Hyuuga group."

Sakura still didn't understand where she came in to play in all of this. "I don't mean to be rude Hinata-san but what does all this have to do with me I mean I do feel that it isn't fair to you to be forced into marriage…"

Hinata continued "The reason I'm here is because of Naruto-kun…"

In the ten years that Sakura had known Naruto, she had never heard another girl call his name with as much affection as she had just heard. And she suddenly felt dread at why Hinata was really here. "What…what do you mean?" she felt herself stutter.

"Neji-nii-san was the one who told me that you two were really close and gave me your address. I didn't want to tell him why it was that I wanted to find Naruto-kun so instead I asked for you. I thought that since you know him so well that I could ask you for advice." She had a blush on her face as she looked at Sakura "I'm too much of a coward Sakura-san! I was too afraid to tell Naruto-kun that I've liked him since so long ago. I've carried this unrequited love within my heart everyday for the last nine years like a fool. But this time I want to face both my feelings and Naruto-kun head on."

"If it's him I could have courage to stand up to my dad, if it's him I could follow my dreams without any fears. Watching him had always given me strength…given me hope. Won't you help me Sakura-san?" Hinata grabbed Sakura's left hand and pleaded. "Is there any hope for me? Do you think he will accept someone like me?"

"I…I wouldn't really know Hinata-san!" Sakura had managed to say; still feeling shocked by the revelation.

"But you're his best friend Sakura-san, you should probably know of his tastes."

Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears as she hesitantly heard herself say "Naruto is more loving and down to earth than anyone I know. If you tell him how you feel…I doubt he'll turn you away."

She could see the hope in Hinata's eyes…and she hated herself for being the one to spark it. "You don't how heavy my heart has been these past couple of weeks Sakura-san. I can't imagine myself with anyone other than Naruto-kun. He has been my pillar of inspiration and hope for as long as I could remember. Not to mention that he is also my first love. I have always longed to give him the happiness that he never got…longed to shower him with the love that he hasn't received. Perhaps you know better than anyone of his loneliness and how everyone hated him in our hometown for his background. I want to take care of him now, I want to build my future with him…I feel I have the courage now."

_--------_

Sakura couldn't sleep for a couple of nights as she thought about everything Hinata had told her. If she thought back to her high school days with Sasuke and Naruto, where as Sasuke always wanted to be left alone it was Naruto who tried his best to get attention. She had only joined the track team when she found out that Sasuke was a member. Because the elementary school in Konoha was an all-girls school, she was excited to be attending middle school which was co-ed. It was in her second year that she had met Sasuke as he moved back to Konoha after the tragedy of his family and his release from the hospital.

His brother Itachi had suffered from post traumatic stress disorder and in a bout of insanity had slain his whole family. Sasuke was the only survivor. He was always aloof and she couldn't remember if she had ever really seen him smile. But regardless she was drawn to him to the point that she was almost completely blind towards Naruto. He used to seem obnoxious to her with his loud voice and loud laughter. Everything about him was exaggerated and full of energy. But she had never paid enough attention to him to know of the girls that might have been in love with.

She didn't think that there ever really was a girl that would like him if they knew of his past. That he was the son of serial rapist who had actually killed two of his victims. Naruto had also come about when one of the victims had decided to keep him instead of going through an abortion. After she gave birth to him, she left him at the orphanage and fled Konoha to never come back. It was her who had identified her attacker and had gotten him arrested. The investigation had resulted in the finding of the two bodies. His father was sentenced to death and executed before he was even born.

The public eye was cruel; they weren't kind to Naruto's mother as she started showing, whispering all sorts of maliciousness behind her back despite the courage it took for her to come forward and press charges. Naruto had never seen his own mother's face and it made Sakura wonder about the depth of the wounds in his heart. She had once in her childish immaturity had mocked him because of his lack of parents and structure as the reason behind his behavior. But she had heard the harsh scolding from Sasuke for those words and it left her thinking twice.

Naruto had gone through most of his life alone; he only had Iruka-sensei by his side until he was twelve years old. Iruka-sensei had gotten married that year and resigned from the orphanage. To think that he had so many losses in his life what would he think if he knew of the girls that were secretly in love with him. Especially someone like Hyuuga Hinata who was like a princess. Would he be happy? Would he get over his infatuation with Sakura? Would he…God, the questions were tearing her mind apart! Why had she said that to Hinata? Why the hell did she have to sound encouraging? Would she be able to give Naruto away just like that?

She looked over at her alarm clock that was now blaring 3:15 in the morning. Letting out a cry of frustration she buried her head under her pillow but the words of Hinata 'I want to take care of him now' was still resounding loudly in her head.

_--------_

Sakura could barely stay awake through the lectures later that morning as a headache hammered away at her. She was through with the last class before her two hour break. She thought maybe she could doze off in the library and just skip lunch altogether. She barely had an appetite as she mulled over the thoughts from the early morning hours. And due to her cranky nature as of the moment she was internally bad mouthing Hinata. The girl absolutely had no manners…to suddenly show up without warning and then laid the bomb about how she's been in love with Naruto.

Well…too bad for her because he wasn't interested. Why if Sakura wanted Naruto would be at her back and call. He had always been in love with her and no one would change that. She pressed her temples as her headache was pounding harder. The restless thought process was only making her more ill. 'What am I doing? This inner turmoil is getting me nowhere!'

"Sakura-chan!" she heard Naruto's voice call from behind her. She turned to find him jogging towards her. He was catching his breath as he reached her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked surprised at his appearance.

"You have a break right now don't you? Have lunch with me…it seems like so long since we've really seen each other."

"It hasn't even been a week." She reminded but before he could say anything another voice had interjected.

"Ah you must be Uzumaki-san!" was the voice of Yakushi Kabuto from behind him.

"Yes, that's me!" Naruto replied as he turned to see the wretched man who had the guts to ask his Sakura-chan out. He had taken that opportunity to put his arms around Sakura who looked at him and noticed his stiffness.

"Well congratulations are in order…" he said almost mockingly and Naruto looked at him questioningly "Ah…aren't you too seeing each other? That was the impression Sakura-san had given me." He was challenging.

Naruto didn't even bat an eyelash. "Yes we are…I've been in love with her for a long time and I'm only fortunate that she has accepted."

Sakura watched Naruto speak those lies so confidently and was surprised by him. "Then…I'll just be on my way. I don't want to keep you two." Kabuto said as he walked away from them without the smug look that he had on previously.

"Sorry Naruto…I didn't mean to involve you in all this…" she was trying to explain to him.

"It's alright Sakura-Chan! I know my place and that you were only trying to avoid that creep. I'm not going to get my hopes up…" As he said this Sakura caught the fleeting look of disappointment or maybe it was sadness in his eyes. But it was gone as soon as it was there and he pulled on his grin "Come on lets go eat!" he said as he pulled her along to a hibachi place that had some good lunch specials.

Sakura thought about the way Naruto looked as he told her that he wasn't going to get his hopes up and felt an annoyance coming over her. Why was he so hopeless? Why didn't he persist with asking her out…why didn't he give her an opportunity to say yes without having to spell everything out for him. And that was when the realization dawned on her…she was crippling Naruto day by day. While he waited on her to fall in love with him, he was giving up many opportunities to stay by her side. There was a bitter aftertaste to that thought.

The lively atmosphere of the restaurant was only serving to make her more agitated. Naruto happily ate in front of her and chatted in between chewing his food about his improvements at Muay Thai. All she could do was notice the wounds on his face. He hadn't had the stitches removed yet and the swelling in his face barely healed. The black and blue of his skin made her want to reach out and caress him.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked and she flinched.

"Yeah?"

"You haven't touched your food. " He motioned towards her plate. "You're not skipping your meals again are you?" he asked as he watched her suspiciously.

"I've lost my appetite just by looking at you." She said as she looked away from him

Naruto dropped his chopsticks at her words, all signs of mirth vanished. He touched his face and felt the bumps, realizing what it was that she was staring at the whole time. "Do they look that hideous still…they'll be gone in a few days…you'll see!"

She turned to him with a sharp glare "It won't be long before they are replaced with new ones…you're serious about this fighting crap aren't you?"

"Well…I" Naruto stuttered being taken aback.

"I don't get it Naruto…do you really just want to throw your life away? What happened to you? Is it…is it because of me that you're going about you're days like this?" she was now demanding from him.

"Sakura-chan…" he said looking around him trying to remind her that they were in public.

"What? Do my words sound too harsh for you?" she was still keeping it up. "Then maybe you should think about getting a proper job and working hard towards something that isn't frivolous!"

Naruto looked at her eyes that were filled with anger and wondered what was really wrong. She had looked tired to him and agitated. He had known to read her well so he didn't understand where this outburst was coming from. "Is something wrong…did I do something to make you angry Sakura-chan?"

She couldn't believe that he was still being nice to her. He was still worried about her when she was outright being mean. It irritated her that he didn't have enough of a pride to tell her to watch her words. She realized that she had to do this…she had to push him away…had to make him realize how terrible she was and how he didn't treat his self right. "Are you not even listening? I'm telling you that you're wasting your time!" she was a bit reluctant as she said "And that you're also wasting mine's as well when you're always looking for me. If you spent even half of that time on you…then just maybe you'd have already made something of yourself!" she spat before she slapped some bills down on the table and walked out on him.

_--------_

Sakura walked up the stairs to her place dejectedly. She couldn't think of anything the rest of the day at school and work but her words to Naruto. Wasn't there a better way to tell him that wouldn't involve hurting his feelings? She felt absolutely useless as she realized the only thing that she had ever given him was pain. That was when she noticed him waiting at her door steps.

His eyes were mixed with both fear and anticipation as he looked at her. "Sakura-Chan…" he whispered.

She felt an aching. Why does he still come around no matter how bad she is to him? "How long have you been waiting?" she asked

"That doesn't matter…" he said as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at the floor. "What's really the matter Sakura-Chan? I haven't seen you look so fierce before…it's almost like you're telling me something else through your words…telling me that you need me to understand something important."

He amazed her by how he saw right through her. Maybe it was inevitable since they knew each other for a more than a decade. But she had to do this she told herself so she hardened her eyes.

"Then don't go deeper than the meaning of my words. Because I've been thinking about this for a while now. I think the only reason you're living the way you are now is because of me…because you want to watch over me. I'm feeling suffocated from that!" she said as she held her head. Naruto snapped his head towards her at those words…the pain evident in his eyes. "I can take care of myself without you always hovering over me…its annoying! I don't think even you realize that you're holding yourself back because of me. I really hate this self sacrifice that you're doing for me Naruto…and I'm tired of people telling me that I lead you on!"

Naruto was trying hard to swallow at the lump that was forming in his throat "Then what it is that you want me to do?" he asked

"I'm saying that we shouldn't see each other so much. Maybe even avoid each other for a while for you to get yourself together. Enough of this nonsense with fighting and maybe even registering back to school. I don't know I shouldn't be the one to decide for you but I also can stand around watching you go on like this." Naruto listen to her words that were like thorns to him. Did she know what she was doing to him? He felt his hurt giving way to anger as she continued.

"What's really funny is that I'm asking this break from you when we're not even going out or even remotely close to that. But all I know is that it'll be good for you…" She was startled in between talking as she heard the loud thud of Naruto's fist against wall next to her door. She watched him in fear as she saw his whole body trembling.

"Don't! Don't give me that shit of it's for my own good!" he whispered harshly at her. When he turned to her, did she notice the burning anger in his eyes. "Do I suffocate you with my presence? If you're that tired of me then why did you tell me not to leave you?" he shouted at her. "Why don't you ever say what you really mean?"

He was scaring her as the tears were filling her eyes, threatening to fall anytime and give her away. "I mean it this time!" she said as she looked away from him before he could see the truth in her eyes.

"Fine!" he said as his face darkened in a way that was so unlike him. "If that's what you want then I'll disappear for you!" Before she could even look at him he was already past her with an unnatural speed. And as she turned her body to the direction he was headed all she caught was a glimpse of his blonde hair as he treaded down the stair case.

The tears she had been holding in were now cascading down her face. 'He's gone!' She thought as she was engulfed in the silence of her apartment building's corridor. It was utter quiet in her world as if time itself had stopped and the beating of her heart was awfully loud in her ears. She asked herself 'What have I done?'

**Wind797: Please read my profile for the apology note to this chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

It had been two days since their fallout and it left Sakura pacing around her living room. She had the day off from work and it was rare that she had ever spent a day off without Naruto. His absence was palpable everywhere she looked. All that was running through her mind was the look of anger in Naruto's eyes. It was a desperate anger that she guessed he had suppressed for a while. But she was desperate as well…but for what? That was something that she couldn't make out. Was it because she desperately didn't want to be the reason he was holding himself back or maybe it was to make him understand how anxious she was that another girl would take him away from her. Whatever it was she had pushed her best friend away and had hurt him. Again!

What was wrong with her that she was always hurting him? Compared to her, Naruto was far better off with Hinata. But it was that very thought that had her so frustrated in ways that she couldn't explain. Trying to gain back some of her sanity she searched for something to occupy her restless mind. It was raining really badly outside so her errands had to wait. She opted to tidy up her place. Going through her laundry she found several shirts, socks and a pair of pants that belong to Naruto. She held on to them and breathed in his scent. He probably had no idea that he had left his clothes here. He was the type that had always needed cleaning up after, the type that needed to taken care of. _'I want to take care of him now…'_ she heard Hinata's voice say in her head again.

Angrily she stuffed the clothes into the washer and turned it on. Wanting to avoid her train of thought she grabbed the vacuum out of the closet and started on the living room carpet. The excessively loud noise put her at a bit of ease. That was until she reached her bedroom and was running the vacuum behind the door when she noticed it. He had left the guitar behind the door the last time he had been here. It had her heart pounding loud in her ears despite the shrill noise of the vacuum. She turned it off and reached for the guitar. Tears were flooding her eyes as she imagined Naruto's fingers that glided through the chords. Every melody he had played on it had been for her as he would softly smile and say _'If only you belonged to me, Sakura-chan!'_

She felt the tear drops falling on the guitar "Baka…I already do! But you don't belong with me, I only make you miserable."

The heavy rain outside momentarily distracted her and made her all too aware of how alone she was. Sakura got up to close the small opening of her bedroom window. She took a moment to look out at the darkness outside that had engulfed the horizon even though the sun had yet to set. She could see one of the other tenants running from his car to the door of the building and even that reminded her of Naruto. He had often shown up at her door soaked to the bone. And she would scold him for not remembering to take his umbrella before he left the house. But he wouldn't be at Sakura's door anymore and if Hinata had her way, she would have him all to herself. Laying flat on her back in bed she imagined the two of them together.

_Naruto drenched from the downpour would knock impatiently on Hinata's door. As soon as she opens it his impatience turns into his sunny wide grin, the one that always managed to make Sakura's heart race, it would have that same impact on Hinata. "Naruto-kun, you're soaked to the bone!" She would say as she ushered him in. _

_ "I didn't know that it would rain today!" He would say as she'd go to grab him a towel._

_ "You didn't check the weather before you left the house?" She would ask handing him the towel. _

_ "I don't have a computer or cable at my place." He'd answer as he wiped his hands, face and then would proceed to take his shirt off. He wouldn't realize the blush that would spread across Hinata's face at his undressing and how her eyes would be glued to the tight muscles of his chest and abs. He was slim and didn't eat well all the time, she could tell. His previous comment about not having a computer or any cable would come back to her and it would hit her just how little he had in life. But yet despite that his carefree nature and enthusiasm for living was so dazzling that she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. _

_ "What's wrong?" He would ask when he'd notice her intense stare. She'd shake her head at being caught but her eyes would still skim over his face and notice how his wet bangs covered his eyebrows. She'd want to bury her hands in that hair. When he would hand her the towel after he was done wiping himself, gathering all of her courage she would cover his hair with the towel and rub gently._

_ "You're hair is still wet." She would say when he'd be surprised by her actions. He had always let his hair air dry but her fingers that rubbed them with the towel felt awfully comforting. "Why don't you sit down…you're so tall, it's hard for me to reach!" _

_ He would give her a sheepish grin and then comply with her request. Making slight touches to Naruto's bare chest she'd thoroughly dry his hair and then would take one look at his piercing blue eyes that were watching her expectantly; she would boldly touch her lips to his. She would only move away to see his reaction, begging with her eyes for him to kiss her back. It would take Naruto just a moment before he'd give in to her temptation and push her down on the couch to capture her lips with his. _

Sakura clenched the sheets with her hands. Even if it was her imagination, it was just too much! Enough to get her blood boiling. She threw her head back, her chest heaving, remembering the night the two of them had been together. _"You were always my angel Sakura-chan!" _Naruto's voice was ringing in her ears. As if that thought had made him come to life in front of her eyes. He was watching her with wet passionate eyes that had her heart racing. He kissed her chin, along her jaw line and down to her neck. The butterfly kisses continued from her collarbone to each of her shoulders before he was tracing her skin with his tongue.

"Naruto…" She whispered his name and he looked up locking his eyes with hers as he continued his trail down to her navel. The strange but wonderful sensation had Sakura's hips bucking that she gave out a cry. Naruto had only smiled at the effect he had on her.

_"You have no idea how beautiful you are to me." _He said as he stopped to lay lazy soft kisses on her stomach that were driving her crazy before he continued going lower. She had been pleasantly surprised that night that Naruto could make her feel so much pleasure all at once.

Sakura covered her face with her hands. Her cheeks were red and she felt hot all over. She slapped her hands against her cheeks. What was she thinking about! That memory had never appeared in front of her as vividly as it did at the moment. She was sure it was from jealousy that all her lusty thoughts were coming to surface. But Naruto was so gentle and sweet…she didn't want anyone else to know that part of him. Just imagining him with someone else was making her heartache. She hugged her pillow tightly to her chest, wishing that she hadn't pushed away the one person that brought her so much happiness. She could feel the tears coming on again, and felt so exhausted that the only thing she could do was sleep.

--------

Sakura's nose had been runny all day and she felt a sharp headache that kept on returning. She hoped that she wouldn't get sick on top of all the stress that she was going through. She supposed that she should rest in bed but being alone at her place only stressed her out more so she was out grocery shopping at the nearby supermarket. Her basket barely had anything on it as it would be her third outing this week just as a reason to not feel lonely. As she was strolling down the produce aisle she noticed none other than Shikamaru examining melons. He also lived nearby but Sakura rarely had much to say to him despite the number of years she had known him. She shook her head; the guy was always over examining things. But she was glad to see a familiar face, in her college life she had distanced herself off from others and treated everyone like acquaintances.

Sakura realized what a terrible thing she had done when she didn't have anyone to really talk or open up to. Who do you turn to when the one you have been fighting with is your one and only best friend? She had even thought of going over to see Ino but knowing Ino, Sakura feared that she wouldn't hear the last of it.

Walking over to Shikamaru she said "I wonder how long it takes you to shop if you contemplate on one thing for that long."

He turned to her with a frown. "If I'm going spend my money…then I have the right to take as long as I want to decide. Besides I'm still not sure which one is riper…this one looks a bit aged but this one feels the softest. "

Sakura raised an eyebrow at him. "And you're the reason Ino frequents my place drinking herself stupid?"

He only shrugged "She's up there on my list of reasons why I'll never understand women. Besides this is like busy work…isn't that the reason why you're here too?" He asked as he gestured to her practically empty basket.

'Damn him for being so perceptive!' She thought to herself as she shot him a glare. "I'll leave you to your melon gazing!" she said as she started to walk away from him. She only heard a mumbled "Suit yourself!" But as she walked ten feet away from him she found herself wondering if she should let this chance go of needing to talk to someone. Turning back to look at him, she saw that he was back to the way he had been for god knows how long. Shikamaru was the only one in their group of friends who never repeated or chastised anyone over things. After a moments decision she was walking back towards him.

He felt her presence right behind him and slowly turned to her before asking "You need someone to talk to?"

She only gave a guilty pleading look as she nodded. He sighed as he dropped one melon down and put the other in his basket. "Fine, but you buy the coffee!" he told her as he led the way to the cashiers.

They were sitting across each other at a diner as they waited for their coffee. The waitress came over as she placed two mugs of warm mocha before them "Anything else?" she asked.

Sakura looked at Shikamaru who only shook his head in answer. "Nothing else, thank you!" She told the waitress who zoomed away to the next customers. They both sat in silence as Sakura mulled over her thoughts. It was always like this with her, feeling an urgency to talk to someone and then the cowardice that kept all her thoughts at the tip of her tongue.

But it was Shikamaru who decided to break the silence. "I assume this is about Naruto?" She gave a surprised look silently asking how he knew. "We don't have any other reason to really see each other and I doubt you want to convince me into seeing Ino. Actually Kiba's been complaining to me that the baka skipped work for the last two days and has been in a bitchy mood getting into fights and as you had termed about Ino, drinking himself stupid."

Sakura swallowed at the lump in her throat from hearing that. "This is all my fault! If I hadn't said those things to him…" She was saying as she cradled her head in her hands.

Shikamaru sat up and folded his hands together. "Look…I'm not sure what's going on between you two but could you please give the guy a break once in a while. It's always Sakura-chan this and Sakura-chan that. It's almost like he lives for you so try not to be so insensitive. I know I'm the last person that should be saying anything about insensitivity but Naruto is a friend so…"

Sakura shook her head "No…go ahead and give it to me, I deserve it anyway. I know that Naruto bends over backwards for me and it's refreshing to know that he has others who care about him." She was rubbing her cheeks with the back of hand willing to stop the tears that were falling.

Shikamaru felt guilty in seeing her that way, he couldn't stand to see girls cry. "I don't mean to interfere but maybe this time it's something else isn't it? He usually lets everything roll right off of him."

She gave him a half-hearted smile "Nothing gets by you huh?"

"No not really."

"Well…" she started off wondering how to explain it all. "Do you ever feel that you're not worthy of those that you care about…that you are the one who is holding them back."

Shikamaru turned pensive at her inquisition. "I feel that way every time I look at Temari. When I got her pregnant with Yume, she had to quit school for a while and still hasn't really recovered from that."

"That's how I feel about Naruto…he doesn't do anything for himself as he's always trying to watch over me or take care of me. I know he's waiting for me but I don't have the courage to love anyone. And then there is Hinata…" She trailed off.

"Hyuuga Hinata?" he asked wondering what she had to do in all of this.

"Yes." She answered. "She met with me about a week ago and told me that she's always been fond of Naruto. Her father wants to choose a marriage partner for her and she felt that it was now or never with Naruto."

"So, you want to create an opportunity for her by pushing Naruto away." He finished for her.

"How far do you read into people?" She asked suddenly afraid that he could tell her every thought.

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter, it hasn't helped me much with relationships anyway. Why do you feel that you need to do anything to help when Naruto clearly has always been in love with you? Why should you make that decision for him?"

"Because…" she whispered curling her hands into tight fists but asking herself that same question 'Why?'. Looking away so that Shikamaru wouldn't notice her pained expression she decided to say the truth. "I'm not sure if I wanted to even create an opportunity for her. I just want him to have something better whether it is love or a career. I don't know…all I thought as she sat in my home and talked about him so affectionately was…this woman would be good for him, she would fill his loneliness and love him wholeheartedly in the way that I can't. She wouldn't allow him to feel inadequate and would probably cherish him in ways that would heal his scarred heart. Naruto has only known so much pain."

Just saying such things out loud was starting to make her heart ache. She covered her face with her hands "And Naruto he...he'd be happy…" she was sobbing "He wouldn't look at me with eyes of longing anymore, hoping and wondering when it is that I'll stop being so cruel to him. But to think that he doesn't need me anymore or that he wouldn't come by just to give me a little bit of company because he missed me when it was actually me that was missing him…that thought makes me feel like I can't breathe!"

"I keep on thinking to myself if I'm doing the right thing…I want to set him free from my chains. In my earliest memory of him, he had seemed so wild, untamed and unbreakable. I know I'm the reason he's given up on a lot of things. But to let Naruto go to Hinata, it's so painful every time I think of it as if I had just cut off my limbs and gave them away to her."

Shikamaru listened to Sakura quietly and tried to ignore the stares that were pointed in their direction wondering what he had done to make the woman across from him cry. He lowered his head in thought as he wondered what to tell her and strangely found that he was able to relate to her. There were instances when Temari had found other boyfriends, and he had been especially bad to her. He wouldn't pick up phone calls from her and wouldn't watch over Yume. He had done anything to give her a hard time but when he thought of it, it was him that let her go to other men. Because he was unwilling to give himself to her wholly without the hint of any pride, he had pushed her away. It was painful to let her go but too risky to let her in. Of course she would get tired of that emotional ping-pong.

Sakura willed herself to calm down and wondered if she was sitting alone as no response had come from Shikamaru. She wiped her tears and looked up to find Shikamaru with his eyes closed and his head lowered. It was a stance that she had seen many times around her campus in the faces of students that dozed off while sitting. She felt her despair of only moments ago give way to anger as she wondered if he had slept through the whole time she was ranting. "Hey…" she first whispered out to him. When he gave her no indication that he had heard her she jerked the table towards him and his eyes flew open in annoyance. "I bought you coffee so you had better been listening to me!" she said through gritted teeth.

"I was only thinking…" he said as he rolled his eye and took the last sip of his coffee. "I don't really know why you're asking advice from a guy like me who doesn't even have his own love life in order. But I will tell you this though…when I was too much of a coward to face Temari with my true feelings, it was during a time that she needed me most. I don't think she has really forgiven me for the fact that I had missed my daughter's birth. Our relationship isn't something that I could ever get over and I think you feel that same way about Naruto. Even if you think that you can't move further with Naruto…don't do something so stupid as to direct him towards Hinata. He's been crazy about you for years so some other girl telling him that she loves him won't change that. Let Naruto make the decisions in his life just as he has done for you. And look at you; you're stressed to the point of getting sick over the thought of losing him!" He told her as he studied her pale face.

Sakura stared at him in reflection and wondered why she hadn't thought of that. Naruto had never interfered with her and her wishes but here she was deciding what was best for him. She sighed as she stared at her untouched coffee mug that was probably cold by now. "You'd do so well if you took your own advice Shikamaru." She told him softly.

He only smirked at that. "Boy that would be a pain in the ass! But I have no idea why you're telling me all of this and not him. I mean he's such a simpleton…it never takes much to satisfy him. If you two were together, you would so have him wrapped around your fingers."

Sakura stood up. "I'm going to see him now!" Shikamaru watched her attentively. "Only to apologize…not pour my heart out." She clarified.

Shikamaru shook his head at her stubbornness as she gathered her things. "You shouldn't delay it you know! Telling him how you really feel I mean…it's all he's been waiting for." He seriously said to her.

She only slid herself out of their booth "Well look who's talking…" she trailed off but before turning to leave she added "Thanks!"

He gave her the hint of a smile as he too stood up to leave.

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Sakura pulled into Naruto's apartment complex's visitor's parking lot and shut off the loud engine of her second hand car. Walking the distance to the entrance she looked around for Naruto's bike that was parked at its usual spot. He was home then she thought as she felt a churning in her stomach for thinking of their confrontation. But when she knocked on his door there was no response. She put one ear on the door to hear any sound of movement but was greeted with silence.

She was about to give up and maybe try the next day. But that was when she heard the voices coming up the steps.

"God Kiba, walk a bit more slowly, didn't I say that my stomach doesn't feel so good?" She heard the gruff voice of Naruto's.

"Why the hell did you drink so much if you can't hold the liquor?" was the harsh reply from Kiba.

Kiba had Naruto leaning on his shoulder for support as he led them towards Naruto's apartment. Kiba stopped a few feet away as he noticed Sakura and that had Naruto looking up wondering what caused him to pause. He could blurrily make out the reddish pink hair that he knew so well and could recognize anywhere. His eyes turned sharp and cold. "Naruto…" He heard her call out to him. And his anger felt as fresh as that night he told her that he would disappear for her.

He stepped away from Kiba and took support from the wall as he staggeringly walked to his door. Kiba took that as his sign to leave and climbed the stairs to leave them alone. When Sakura noticed that he was ignoring her as he fished for his keys in his pockets without even turning her way, she felt a sort of panic enter her heart. He had never acted that way around her. She was about to call out to him again when she heard him swear at not being able to find his keys. He just bent down to get the spare key from under the doormat but cursed again when he found that even that was missing.

Sakura held out her ring of keys to him that had an extra pair of his key he had given her for emergencies. He looked at her hand and still kept his back to her as he asked "Why are you here?" his voice sounded so foreign to her.

She looked to her hands that were shaking and said "I wanted to know that you were okay and I also wanted to apologize. I said some stupid things…"

"Just what the hell is this…" he interrupted her. "You turn me into a mess and then come around to apologize. Why are you doing this to me…just what is it that you want from me?"

"Won't you even look at me, Naruto?" She asked as she reached forward to place her palm on his back. He shook her off at the slightest bit of contact.

"Don't !" he told her firmly. "If you get any closer, if you touch me…I don't know what I'll do. I might kiss you or be forceful…I might hurt you. So please leave right now." He told her in a pleading whisper.

Her heart raced, she felt herself wanting to tempt him, to let him be forceful…if only it would help make sense of everything for her. So she bravely but stutteringly said "I…I don't care."

It was so fast that she didn't even see it coming as he turned and grabbed her arms and pushed her up against his door. She finally was looking into his eyes that were as cold and serious as she had ever seen them. "Why is it always…so easy for you to take advantage of me?" He asked as his hot breath was on her face. "Does it make you happy to know how much power you have over me? To know that you could break me so easily."

The tears slid down her face at his harsh words, it left her wondering if he hated her. But when he noticed them he released her immediately and clenched his fists. That look of hers always had him wanting to destroy something. She wanted to reach over again and embrace him, anything that would ward off the panic of him hating her. But he swatted her hand away as he tried to find some control in his intoxicated state.

"I'll be the one to say it this time…don't come looking for me! Not until you get yourself together and figure out what it is that you really want. Until you can truthfully admit that you want me." The last part was hard to say because it made him feel as if he had given an execution sentence for their relationship. But he was hurt enough this time to know that making such a demand wasn't uncalled for. He took the spare key that she had offered and opened his door then shoved it back into her hands before shutting the door in her face.

Sakura was in utter shock. Could he really throw her away like this? Why not? She thought, how many times was it that she hurt him for him to finally know better. But this was the exact thing that she was afraid of…his rejection and him giving up on her. Her fears had become a bitter taste of reality as the one person she thought would always be there for her shut her out. She took a step back and walked away almost in a daze that she tripped down three steps at the stairs. Grabbing the railing and using all her strength to pull her weight up Sakura somehow made it back home.

As soon as Naruto had shut the door he felt the wave of hurl from his stomach make its way up. He ran to his bathroom as fast as his legs could take him and bent over his toilet before disposing the contents of his stomach. After a minute of this he stood up and rinsed the taste of bile from his mouth. Looking at himself in the mirror he couldn't feel more disgust. Had he really just done that to Sakura? He was suddenly afraid of what she would do to herself. Trying to gather what seemed like the last bit of his strength he opened his front door and found her gone. He wanted to believe in her, wanted to believe that this would be what would bring her to him. But he couldn't help but wonder whether he had just let her walk out of his life.

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Sakura woke up the next day coughing and wheezing. Her throat was so dry and she felt really fatigued. She didn't remember how she fell asleep last night but she guessed it was all from the shock she received the night before. She had never seen Naruto act the way he did and it worried her more that she was losing him all too fast. Gathering some energy to make some tea, she was surprised to see that it was almost noon. She couldn't remember the last time she had overslept this much. Sitting down with the warm tea she picked up the phone to call Naruto. She had to hear his voice even if he was angry with her. But she had to plead her case and had to apologize to him correctly.

As she waited for the phone to be picked up she felt a strong sneeze coming on. The snot was oozing down her nose as she quickly tried to reach for a Kleenex on the side table.

"Hello?" questioned a disgruntled voice. Sakura tried to quickly wipe her nose as she heard "Who is this?" and "Damn it!" being shouted before she grabbed the receiver to stop him from hanging up.

"Wait Naruto, it's me. Don't hang up! Please!" she said hoping that she hadn't caught him in a bad mood.

"Sakura-chan?" he asked "Why does your voice sound like that?"

"I just have a bit of a cold…its nothing though." She said as the cough that was trying to stifle had come out.

"That's not what it sounds like!" He argued

Sakura sniffed and took a deep breath. "It's nothing Naruto! I needed to talk to you about what you said last night…calling should be fine right? Or should I stop this too?"

Naruto clenched his eyes closed not sure whether to be frustrated or glad that she called. His hangover wasn't helping much. "No…I guess this is okay. So what is it?" He asked trying to sound harsh.

Sakura gulped as she tried to find the right words but it only made her cough more. When she had a hold on herself she said "I…I know it's not the words you want to hear but I'm…I'm so sorry Naruto! You know me…I never say what I really mean. I'm always calling you baka this and baka that but I'm the real baka. I'm so stupid! What I mean is that…I don't you to disappear from me! I would never want that! It would be too painful…" She said all this through tears and coughing that it left her wondering if he could make out what it was that she was saying. When her last cough had calmed down she wanted to ask him if he could forgive her but all she heard from the other end of the receiver was the dial tone.

Feeling angry that he wouldn't hear her out, she slammed the receiver to the phone. 'That jerk!' She thought and as she sank her back in to the cushions of the sofa. In just a moment of time her anger was replaced with hurt as she felt the tears cascading down her face. Staring at the white ceiling she felt her breath shortening by each second that passed until a forceful cough invaded her throat. It felt as if she was choking on air and that the whole room was caving in around her. She had felt this way before…when everything around her felt dizzying and chaotic. It was as if something had crawled inside of her skin and the goose bumps were running up her arms.

That time she had placed her fingers on her wrists and had felt her pulse there. Like it was a sudden rush, she felt an ardent wanting to rip it out of her body. She wanted to hurt herself in the worst of ways…and before she knew it she was going through Naruto's kitchen's drawers trying to find to find something to do the deed. But the baka only had butter knives. Nevertheless she touched the cold silver to her wrist and pushed it down hard. The first few scrapes really hurt but as her wound became deeper, she found herself reveling in the feeling and at the sight of the blood from her cut. It felt so right to punish herself this way…as if all her burdens were becoming blurrier just like her sight of vision. She had briefly heard Naruto calling out to her before she had lost consciousness.

Sakura wrapped her hands around herself tightly trying to fight away that memory. That temptation was humming itself in her blood. But she wouldn't do it again she swore. She wouldn't do something that caused Naruto so much pain again. Not again…never again! That long stay at the hospital and the unbearable shame all weighed themselves on her conscious. But the temptation did not leave her…it torturously played itself out in her head to the point she wanted to loudly yell out, no matter how much her throat was hurting. But before the voice could leave her lips, her door bell was ringing fervently.

She covered her face with her hands and gave of sigh relief to be rid of her thoughts before getting up to answer the door. She opened it to find an out of breath Naruto standing before her. It was clear that he had rushed over. She was frozen at the sight of him. He took a moment to catch his breath before he told her "I'm only here because you're sick! You never take good care of yourself when you get sick."

She could only stare as he stood there so he helped himself in and closed the door. "Yokatta…" He heard her breathe out in the smallest of whisper. He turned to find her covering her face with the nook of her right arm. "I'm so relieved! I thought you wanted nothing to do with me Naruto!" She was sobbing out now. His natural instinct took over and he wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace. His heart was still very much sensitive to her tears.

Within the next twenty minutes he had her lying in bed with the thermometer in her mouth as he went to make her some rice congee. It was a simple dish so Sakura didn't worry that he would burn down her kitchen. He was back to check in on her and she gave an apologetic look as he took out her thermometer. "I'm not that sick that you had to rush over like that!" She told him.

He frowned at her "You have a 39.7 degrees fever, and you're still arguing that its nothing serious?"

She gave him a weak smile "But I'm still glad that you're here." She reached for his right hand and brought it to her cheek. "You know Naruto I keep on giving you trouble, I keep on hurting you. I have no idea what it is that you see in me."

He shook her off and turned away from her. "I already told you Sakura-chan…what I said last night still stands. I'm going to get you something to eat and then you're going to have to take some medicine." He said as he left the room again. Sakura was still glad despite his coldness towards her. She lay back down and relaxed into her pillow. Naruto came back a little bit later with food for her. If he had waited a bit more he would have burned the congee. He internally cursed himself…why did he have to be so clumsy even now. But he put all of that aside as he noticed Sakura fast asleep. He gave a deep sigh. This girl was really too much. Why did she have to get sick after they had a fight? He felt terrible for acting that way to her.

But he didn't know what else to do. He wanted her to know how much he loved her and wanted to be loved back. Why did she have to make it so hard? As he went to cover her with her blanket she stirred with his slightest of movement. She had always been a light sleeper. She grabbed on tightly to his hand. "Don't go Naruto!" She pleaded. Her forehead was covered with sweat and she was shivering.

"I'm not leaving silly." He reassured her.

She was falling back to slumber as she whispered "If you leave me…I won't be able to breathe. Please don't go anywhere!"

Naruto wiped her sweat away with a warm washcloth and took the time to caress Sakura's face. She's always been so close and yet so far out of reach. He was filled with longing again, to hold her, to kiss and comfort her. Avoiding her intentionally wasn't easy on him. He remembered Iruka-sensei's words from when he was just a child. _'Wait Naruto…good things come to those who wait patiently.'_

--------

It was hours past sunset when Sakura woke up again to an empty apartment. All she had done the whole day was sleep. With no sign of Naruto she wondered if she had dreamed that whole part. But when she noticed the food left on the lamp table, it affirmed that he had been here. She picked up the note he had written in a hurry as the handwriting was sloppier that usual.

"Sorry Sakura-chan I have to leave for something important. Please eat the congee that I made you and don't forget to take your medicine. If you're still not feeling well…call me and I'll be right over. Other than that I'm still waiting for your reply. I'll wait patiently; as much as I hate not being able to see you…I'll be waiting so take your time. And this time please be honest so that I can move on like you want me to. –Naruto"

Sakura smiled at his note. What was he apologizing for when it was her that was imposing on him? But the last part scared her. For him to move on, what did that mean for the two of them? She sat down and tried some of the congee that he had made. It was a bit too salty and it smelled as if he had burned it at the bottom of the pan. This reminded her of the time he tried to make breakfast for her. Naruto was always doing things to please her even if he did mess up. It had always left her with the feeling of being touched by his efforts. What then was she so afraid of in being with him? He didn't want to do her the slightest bit of harm…rushing over to take care of her even after a fight. But to love someone that unconditionally again felt overwhelming. Giving her thoughts a rest she finished the congee despite how salty it was and took some medicine before climbing back into bed.

That was when she received the phone call from Hinata. "I'll be leaving tomorrow night Sakura-san."

"So you won't be meeting up with Naruto?" She asked trying to hide her hopefulness.

"It's just like the coward that I am…I've been putting it off to the last moment. I figured that if he rejects me, it wouldn't be so bad you know, I could just leave the city and be off on my way. But if he doesn't…well that's the part that I'm not betting on. I've learned never to rely on just hope." Hinata spoke to Sakura so familiarly as if they knew each other so well. But Hinata wouldn't know the anguish that she was putting Sakura through. "I know I'm stretching this asking you for help thing…but would I be inconveniencing you if I asked you to accompany me tomorrow to where Naruto-kun works? I feel that if you were there Sakura-san I would feel more at ease.

Sakura felt like her head was spinning. This girl was really heartless…did she really want her to be there while she told _her _Naruto that she loves him. Did she know what it was that she was asking of Sakura? "I...I can't" She answered begrudgingly "I have exams going on and I'm not feeling very well."

"I thought so, you're voice sounded different. I'm sorry Sakura-san I didn't mean to burden you. And I also don't want you to think that I'm only using you so maybe I could treat you sometime soon?" Hinata asked her voice seemingly sweet.

It only annoyed Sakura more. Here she was already having problems with Naruto and this girl was just adding to it. "You don't have to do such things." She answered trying to keep her tone in check.

"No no I insist I really want to show you my gratitude. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to me…"

"Look I don't want anything!" Sakura spat cutting Hinata off. How in the world did she think it'd be okay just to treat her to food for all the grief she was causing Sakura. It was absolutely mindboggling! But regardless she didn't need to be so rude. "Gomen!" She apologized right away. "Maybe it's because of being sick and all the stress…"

"No it's me that should be apologizing Sakura-san!" Hinata replied "Here I am going on while you're head must be hurting. I hope you feel better and I'll be getting off the phone now."

Sakura stared at the receiver and felt another headache coming on sharply.

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Sakura walked into the lecture hall where they would be having one of her finals dejectedly. She barely was able to concentrate on studying. Sitting in her seat while she looked over the questions all she could see in front of her was Naruto's handwriting. 'Please be honest so that I can move on like you want me to.' What did he mean? Did moving on mean finding someone else? Would he do that? But then again Hinata wanted to meet with him today. How would he answer her?

"You have about another hour and a half." The professor told the class. Sakura felt her pulse quickening. That's right, everything had a time limit. Whether it be academics or love, it was always about the right timing. Naruto's words to her were also a test and she was riding on the last seconds of it before Hinata would approach him. For someone like him who was deprived of so much love in his life…would he really say no to her?

Sakura looked at the clock; Naruto should have finished about half a day at work. He would probably take a break and Hinata would show up before him. He was always slow to catch on to things so she could imagine how surprised he would be to know how Hinata had always felt about him. Sakura looked around the room, at the silent concentration that was on everyone's faces. The second hand of the clock was ticking loudly in her ears. If she didn't leave now…she would miss them. If she didn't stop them from meeting, Naruto would find a place away from her. And before she could think about it she grabbed her purse and stormed out of the room in a hurry. The professor was calling after her. "Haruno-san! Where are you going?" But she was already out of the double doors leaving the other test taking students wondering what that commotion was all about.

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